SO depressed? How do I cope with this breakup?

I broke up with him 6 months ago, because we had many cultural differences and I could not see a future with him. He still texted me a lot after the breakup because I still wanted to remain friends and he really tried to win me back. But now he has another girl and I suddenly feel so alone and just realized what I've lost.

He was my first love and I still miss him so much that it literally hurts. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I can't even concentrate in class and I have exams coming! Why is it so hard, why can't I just accept the fact that we're not meant to be? And how could he just move on like that, while I'm the one who broke up with him and still having the worst feeling. I want the best for him, but is it wrong that I somehow still hope we will be together? Was it a mistake to break up with him and do you think I will ever move on... Everytime a guy approaches me I feel disgusted because nobody makes me feel like he did.. Do you think he will ever forget me... Desperate for help!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 19

  • It sounds to me like delayed grief. You weren't forced to grieve in the first instance because it was your decision and you were in control. Now you are no longer in control and you have to actually face the loss, just like he had to face it in the beginning. Grief is natural and it is often painful, but it won't kill you. It is how your body and mind rid you of the emotions that are now toxic to you. You need to go through it, there is no way around that. See it for what it is, a limited time of suffering in order to become stronger again. It's like going to the dentist. It might suck but you'll feel better once it's over.

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  • My ex is chinese and I am mexican, shit happens. I've never tried so hard for someone in my life that it hurt me a lot, I love her with all my heart and we just broke up this Sunday night. I know how you feel but understand and answer me this: did you give it your best? We broke up because of her parents, I'm a bum to them who can't even write a proper cover letter while they want someone that's a lawyer or something like that for her. It's not entirely her fault, she's in a bind and I can't make her go against her parents. So tell me, did you give it your best when you two dated? The feeling of being alone after a break up is tremendously painful, when I woke up yesterday I didn't know where I was and I was locking my dorm with my car keys, it was like I was high, I had no emotions. Best thing I can tell you is take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. We tend to always hope for the best for both of us, but ultimately, what I do, is leave it up to god and trust in his perfect plan for us but hope that what I pray is his desired plan. You're more than welcome to shoot me an email if you'd like to talk more about it, I'm going through this myself, or if you just need a friend to talk to. eanfoso@gmail. com , hope things get better for you!

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  • Your pain will become less and less every day. Be smart and learn from this why this is happening to you? Because you alowed yourself to be in this situation , you made an unwise choice falling for this man. You cope with it by getting the courage and become smart and let disapline your mind to rule you not your heart. Things happen for a good reason. there's someone better out there for you millions... take your time and know that there were red flags with him, and if he loved you he would be there with you.
    Know that you should be and you will be glad that you found out now that he dosnt love you enough.
    Who in their right mind wants to be with someone that doesn't want to ve with you. Get you self estem. Lift your head up high and
    Learn about you and why you make decisions to fall for to give your self to the wrong person (s). When your heart and mind are at war with each other, you must always i said always be on the side of your mind no matter how much it may hurt short term. Your mind must rule over your heart.
    When your mind and heart are both in 100 percent agreement know that you are chosing wisely, but if there should come a big red flag your heart will try to ignore it to avoid pain of the reality that you should run away now. but your mind heart both see the red flag problem and you will have only minutes maybe only 1 hour before your heart will convience you to change the color of that red flag to a pink or even ignore it. to stop right there and know the facts that if you dont break it off right then n there you will be in for a hart ache sooner or later. I wasted five years of my life in a relationship
    Because my heart convienced me to not take the red flags seriously.
    And what flags lying about talking on the phone with some other man, chesting? poped up after our first month together were the same in 5 years. I should have ended it in 5 months or less instead of 5 years nothing changed she was a good lier andbi was avgood beliver of her lies because to face reality that she was cheating was too painful.
    Thats what happened because i let my heart rule over me.

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  • You will get over it don't worry. He was your first love but not your last. Trust me I've been there as well. It sucks big time. Took me 6-8 months to feel happy again.

    But there's always sunshine after rain.

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  • What does cultural differences even mean? That sounds like some nonsense and you were trying to keep him chasing after you like you were better than him. You used the break up method on him to put him down, am I wrong?

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    • I know riight, my boyfriend is half-Aussie, half-Chinese, and I'm Persian. He's Christian, and i don't have a specific religion (only believe in God), he has a chill family, mine are strict.
      Like cultural differences have 0 bad affect on our relationship. Some people just nitpick on the little things and aren't open minded and thats why it fails for them.
      It's her fault if she chose to make a big deal out of the differences and break up with him for it.

    • @Cheetah23
      No relationship is worth keeping if both people cannot view each other as equals. The OP has received her lesson, hopefully the next lover she is with, she decides to be fair.

  • I think what you need to do I develop a hobby and stick with it. It's a wah to channel stress and it provides something that you can connect to other people with. Maybe you can find a guy with the same hobby and stick with him for a bit, even if you feel disgusted. Because you have a huge bias right now because of your lingering feelings, even the perfect guy will seem disgusting. Right down some qualities you want, find a guy with the same hobbies, and stick with him. Eventually the bias will fade because you are gonna be constantly stimulated by the present.

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  • Activities, hobbies, and music. Do something social like joining a dodgeball team or exercise or kickball team. Start painting or writing poetry. Try to vent your emotions and feelings into something constructive.

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  • You will move on don't worry. You may not do better in the exams. These things happen in life count your each failure as stepping stone to success. Many people succeeded in life only because of failure of relationship. If you put the pain in positive way it ignites a spark in you.

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  • i am 30 and never had a girlfriend and i always envy people who have been in a relationship and broke up like you, while they are complaining. Maybe you can yourself lucky and cope with your breakup after learning my situation.

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  • A break up can suck. Ashley Monroe once said that I caught the blade he caught the handle. You have to take it one day at a time and heal. Learn to forgive the other person. Finally go hang out with some friends. Now I'll say this and you are probably goin g to say I don't want to hear that but God. Just give it to God. He will take care of all of it. He is the only one who can set you free.

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  • See the trick is that every time you go through a bad break-up you have to go through all the stages of depression in till you reach the point where you accept that it's in the past and move forward I hope that makes sense

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  • You’ll be good, you just gotta face it head on. Just don’t use anti depressants drugs alcohol or cutting to cope with it. Stay strong. Maybe find a hobby or hit the gym.

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  • Just let him be, honestly sometimes girls are so vain in their pursuits. O

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  • You can still go and explain your feelings to what you are going through maybe you can win his mind back if you really love him

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  • Stay busy and let time go by.

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  • Well you could date me?

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  • -First Love
    -cry to sleep
    -trouble concentrating
    -accept the fact “not meant to be”

    With those four statements alone, you owe it to yourself to not give up on possibly rekindling with this guy. You’re in a realm of uncertainty and it won’t be pretty going forward. He could get serious with the new girl or you yourself could one day find another mate (and yes it can happen, even with how you feel).

    A lot of people will say, move on, time will heal or a thousand other variations of the phrases... but some time you just have to forget ask that *hit & try for the impossible. Sometime the people who pushed us away can come back and a great relationship spawns from it, or sometimes we ourselves push someone away because we’re unclear on how we feel until after some time apart.

    Never give up!! You will know how much or when is time to let go, but until then don’t let 6 months shove you around. Stay strong focus on bettering yourself, your schoolwork, and reflect on things you can change and not thing you cannot.

    Good luck :) (you can get him back)

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  • You feel as though you cannot cope with this breakup, you can cope with it.
    Try to accept that this is a part of life and that you broke up for the right reasons and that it wasn't meant to be
    Don't try to engage in thinking over and over, there's no point
    What's done is done. You are single now, enjoy your life and accept that the right person will come along :)

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  • Lol. You had 6 MONTHS, and he tried for 6 MONTHS, that's half a year if I may state the obvious.

    How could he move on? Might be due to the fact trying invain for 6 months.

    But only when he found someone else did you realise.

    Just LOL. Take this roast and learn to be happy as single, you need it

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    • Lol. U right. Once she broke up with him he was like “fuck this bitch I’m out” 😂😂

What Girls Said 6

  • You were so sure that you wouldn't work out. Do you still feel this way? Is the problem that you have always wanted to be with him or the simple fact that you now feel alone and he is no longer giving you the attention you desire? Ask yourself these questions. If you are sure you don't want him and will never work out, leave it be and move on. If you are sure you made a mistake and you are 1000% sure that you would be with him again no bs then it might be worth at least telling him how you feel. At least in that case you would get the appropriate closure. I think the real issue here is that you are just missing his attention and someone to talk to

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  • Instead of looking at it as a tragic break-up, you need to look at your relationship with him as an amazing adventure. And what do we do after an amazing weekend adventure ends? We take some time to recover, and then we start planning for the next one. Your first love is not your only love. It's just the beginning.

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  • Im kinda going through the same thing except he was the one who dumped me it really hurts

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  • Taylor Swift

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  • Just know that there is a good reason things like this happen. Everything happens for a reason, that's probably not what you want to hear but its true. You are not alone and there are others who truly love and care for you. Just know things get better and you can and will get through this.

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  • How could he move on? Honey, you made him suffer for 6 months. I think he had every right to, in fact he did it 5 months too slow.
    Listen, my boyfriend once had an ex like you. She broke up with him (for shitty reasons) and lead him on a lot. He tried to get back with her as she was all the love he knew, not because he felt happy with her. They stayed friends, but when he started dating me, only THEN did she tell him she wants him back. She went behind my back and told him that. It made him so frustrated that she lead him on to suffer after she broke up with him, but she only cared enough to do something about it after he got into a relationship with someone else. It was horrible. That wasn't thoughtful or caring at all, and neither is your reaction.
    Leave him alone, please. He won't ever forget you, if his girlfriend is kind like me, you can still be friends, but only if you move on. He's not yours, you didn't make a mistake of breaking up with him necessarily, you made the mistake with how you treated the matter after. I highly doubt you ever stopped at least unknowingly leading him on during those 6 months.
    Move on, honey. You two are done.

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    • Oh and yes, you will move on. You could very well regret this for the rest of your life, but you will lose feelings for him eventually.
      If it makes any difference, I'm meeting up with my boyfriend and his ex (like i said, they're friends) soon to hang out. If you play your cards right (and you want to be friends with you ex) there's potential for all 3 of you to move on happily like us.

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    • Well if I'm ever with two women at the same time, there has to be one I like more than the other, it would be unfair for the other to realize this. I don't think it's possible to love two women equally, or is it. Stop tempting me, lol.

    • @GracefulCharm hahahaha

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