My abusive ex boyfriend said that someday I’ll learn the hard way what an amazing guy he was. Should I believe him?

He said that it’s going to be sad when I learn the hard way what an amazing guy he was and that I “threw away” a “good” guy over my own bullshit.
Yet, I was the one who dumped him for being controlling, having a bad temper, and always humiliating me in public over my eating habits. I was miserable and depressed in the relationship because of the way he was treating me. Even with all that, he expected me to be happy with him.

He was the first boyfriend I ever had and now I’m wondering if this could be true...


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • Of course he said that, that's what they all say. Ignore it. You had your reasons for breaking up with him and from what you've said, they sound like very valid reasons. He's just angry, he thinks he's got nothing wrong with him. Forget about it. You can do A LOT better than him based on how you've described him.

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  • You should believe him only if you lack the capacity to think for yourself.

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    • It’s just that since he’s the first boyfriend I ever had, I have no idea if maybe I do have a problem since he kept telling me throughout our relationship that I “ruin” everything and that all of the problems that occur are my fault, that I don’t listen, etc...

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    • Do abusers typically blame their victims? Was this likely his way of brainwashing me into thinking that there’s nothing wrong with him?

    • Abusers, alcoholics, and drug abusers all have a string tendency to blame others for their problems. It is standard operating procedure for most of them. You MUST learn to trust your instincts and your judgment.

  • Anyone abusive is not good. Don't let him get in your head. Move on.

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  • No its not true. He's just fucking with you to get you back.

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  • Sounds like you have yo ur life ahead of you amd. more. fish to. catch

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  • Don't, hun this is a bad cycle get out of it while you're ahead. Someone like that will not change no matter how much they say they will. You deserve happiness and that isn't it

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  • No. He was abusive. Therfore he's not an amazing guy

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  • It’s not true and there are so many good guys out there so don’t worry

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What Girls Said 2

  • Nope, you deserved better. Like conceded much dude? The same problem happen to me. He was also my first boyfriend that last 4 years. End up leaving his ass after I got accepted into Nursing school. Instead of congrats me, he said “you are able to be this far because of me” “Im the best boyfriend you will ever find” and im like, first, I didn't find you, you approach me dude. Second, you didn't do shit that I ended up in nursing school. Leave his ass was the best decision ever

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  • Do not believe what he says. I was in an abusive relationship when I was 15. He made me believe for so long that I would regret it and that I’m not worth it for anybody. Well I got out of that thinking and I dated a lot experienced good guys and bad ones. Part of life. But that experience alone made me stronger. Because there’s guys were much better then him. They didn’t choke me, they didn’t try to break my wrist, and they sure as hell didn’t tell me no one is going to want you like he did. Haha well now I have an amazing guy who treats me like a goddess and is showing me what love really is.

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    • Thank you so much for giving me hope. How do I break free from this guy and regain my confidence back?
      He has truly made me believe that there is something wrong with me.

    • I know it’s tough because you put your whole heart into this guy. You feel like he’s the only one who’s ever been there for you and think well now who’s going to be? I honestly just let those feelings eat at me because one day I got tired of it. I became angry because of how much I let him take from me. I started socializing or giving people chances to talk to me and that’s how I met someone. And eventually you just go with the flow. Learn and get the idea of some good guys and what you want. Surround yourself with those that love you and want to help you. I know it’s cliche but every bit of it counts. You have to step away from this guy. He’s only manipulating you. He sees your trying to pull away so he will say whatever will bring you down. Whatever it takes to make you stay. Always keep that in mind. There is hope for you trust me!!!

    • And this guy was my first love. The hardest thing to break out of. But look it’s been 10 years. He’s realized how evil he was to me and he had to resolve his issues. We are actually best friends now. And he supports me on my relationships and Is so understanding. So not only what he did to me made me stronger and more aware on who to trust, he realized his faults and fixed them. He’s a good person now. we just couldn’t be together. It only brought destruction.

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