Why Can't Men Just Say It?

I've come to believe that men say exactly what they mean, no hidden meanings, however every situation is different so there's no real way to know for sure. I've been pondering over a guy who has caused me more emotional damage than anyone before and he just will not tell me the truth as to why he hurt me so I can have some kind of closure and not carry the baggage into my next relationship.

I've calmly and assertively attempted to express how I feel and he refuses to listen or even hear me. We've both gotten so frustrated with each other that it reached a boiling point where we've insulted one another, took cheap shots at each other and I don't think there's anyway to resolve it. We've said so many hurtful things to each other, but he knows I have feelings for him. The hurtful things he's said to me, I don't know if its just dislike for me or if I struck a couple of nerves. Why won't he tell me verbally that he doesn't like me so I know for certain its a done deal?

Updates:
I know sometimes you just never get an answer and if his actions confirm what you know to be true, you shouldn't need an answer, but isn't cowardly for a guy to not express how he feels as oppose to running away and avoiding the issue?
Life goes on, but the emotional scars remain.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Getting closure or admittance from a guy who refuses in the first place, is pointless. You are only wasting your time. Some men tell you the truth from the beginning, I'd suggest you'd date men like that. It's not hard, since you are looking for men who reveal rather than hide.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You just picked the wrong guy, who wasn't right for you move on and find someone else, everyone has bagage, everyone is different, everyong has issues...

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What Girls Said 2

  • Do you wonder if his lack of communication may be a tactic for petty revenge? Maybe he's just as hurt as you are over whatever the problem between the two of you may be, so to him withholding "closure" is a way of ensuring your unhappiness as well. With love can come much bitterness.

    Whatever his deal is, stop giving him the power to hurt you. It could be even he is aware that he's wrong or he knows giving you the truth will set you free. There are some things in life you may not get over, but you can bury them pretty deep if you want. I have.

    Good luck.

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    • I did think all that you said, but non-verbal cues can be misleading. Maybe he just can't stand me anymore and doesn't respond back to me because he doesn't care about me so he doesn't waste his time replying back. I've tried to bury the issues, but this guy emotionally scarred me and I can't for the life of me get him to just hear me out and just understand he hurt me.

    • I think he understands that he's hurt you - I just don't know if he doesn't care or if he's deliberately ignoring your pain because he wants to hurt you. As to him not being able to stand you - that means you're creating some pretty intense feelings in him. If he didn't care, he wouldn't care at all. You've both hurt each other; it's time to move on.

  • I don't know what went on with you two, but I'd just stop messing with this guy. Why are you still talking to him?

    If you want closure, make it happen. Once you've spent enough time waiting on someone you have to, at some point, decide not to wait anymore. You take the situation into your own hands and decide that you're going to move on whether he wants to help you or not. It might be hard, but I think you'd feel good about it, especially since it sounds like things are already over between the two of you.

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