i've been messed about in the past and now I struggle to trust ANYONE. I was really hurt, its messed me up so bad that its affecting my new relationship.
my boyfriend can;t do anything without me getting mad at him and assuming he's cheating. for example:
adding a girl on facebook
talking to a girl on facebook
being in pictures with girls
meeting up with girls
talking to girls while drunk on a night out
camping with girls
having girls in his friendship group
working with girls
having girls round his or staying round a girls
I JUST CAN'T STAND IT. I HATE EVERY SINGLE GIRL HE KNOWS RO LOOKS AT
and this isn't normal. I don't want to think like this. I want to be able to trust him and say to myself "he chose me!"
but I can't. and we're both going to the same university in September and I think I'm going to become even worse, and he'll break up with me and then it will be EVEN WORSE because he will be able to move on and get with who he likes.
i know I'm a bitch but this is what my ex has done to me.. ruined my future relationships! all for a bit of 5 minutes of drunken pleasure. that's what its taken to bring me down.
Most Helpful Girl
It's more than that 5 minutes of drunken pleasure. People cheat to fill a void in their needs. People never cheat on "accident" just like no man who "missed the right hole" never does this by chance. They do it to see a reaction. Don't ask me what that means if you don't understand, it's just a metaphor. Kind of. Anyways... You need to realize that the issue isn't with men, and trusting them. It's a matter of self-confidence, and trusting that you have good taste in men. Think about it. What do all your ex's have in common? YOU! They all at one point thought that you would be nice to be around, give hugs to, be loyal to. But then, something changes. A spark is dead. Well all that means is the lust is gone. Lust is like striking a hammer against hot steel. It sparks, but after not too long, the steel cools off, and then what? You're stuck with an unmovable piece of steel. Or are you? All you have to do to get that spark back is the same things you did in the first place. Kindle it.
If that isn't possible, then my only other advice is back to what they all have in common. You need to get a grip, and trust your own choices. Why would you purposely date a guy who is going to cheat on you? And why do you feel like any attention diverted away from you is negative? He's still with you right? You can worry your little head about a cheater until you have an aneurysm. But why worry? It's going to happen if it does with or without worry on your part. If it happens, you were right and you can give yourself a big old pat on your shoulder. But, my friend, if you are wrong...Then the only person who betrayed anyone was you, betraying yourself...And sub sequentially smothering your relationship with doubt.2