Ex boyfriend contacts me after 5 years?

i broke up with him when we were freshmen in hs. first loves. I will add that he has a girlfriend who lives in another state then we do, they met in college. he recently contacted me, via facebook and during the summer text me. on his birthday he asked me to come to his party. I went and it was nice seeing him after all these years. he continued to text me and a few weeks later we met for coffee.. we stayed talking (only) until 4am. we talked about everything, it was like the relationship we always had except there was nothing physical. we talked about music, religion, college, I talked about my ex's, and told me about his past girlfriends since me how they were not a good fit for him, and about his new girlfriend, he told stories but not how he felt about her. he said she had sex with his best guy friend before he started dating her and that's always in the back of his mind. also she wants to be married by the age of 22...(we are 20 now). which he said he was not ready for. I said I would not marry until about 27 and he agreed that's what he would want to do, with student loans and getting his career started. he also cleared things up between the two of us telling me he never cheated on me, and he seemed to be setting things straight about the two of us from our past., . he came to the cafe I worked during the summer with his friends from time to time as well . I thought that we would remain friends but he has not contacted me in about 2-3 weeks. recently, he put on is face took status that he's "LOVES his girlfriend so much". his exact works. its all very confusing. what did he want from me? was he looking for closure? make me jealous? revenge? I mean wtf, I didn't bother him all this time. why did I he feel the need to do this if he is just ignoring me now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think what happened was he hit a low point with his girlfriend, and was thinking of jumping ship, but then something changed between them, and now he has committed to her.

    He probably thought about leaving her, and brought it up to someone, and they convinced him it wasn't a good idea for some reason.

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    • Probably his best friend. he called me then came to caf? left then brought my ex back with him later that night. we hung out then his best friend left about an hour after. I talked to my ex till 4am. I told my ex his best friend called me he seemed sincerely shocked. my ex said if his girl friend was not in picture we would get together, idk, I just don?t get it all. i?ve moved on since but it would have been nice to be friends. his best friend was the one to get us together in hs. ironic.

    • Convincing someone to stay with their girlfriend is not love as far as I'm concerned. I have to face the reality is he hasn't changed much at all. I think its way of trying to hold to me. leading my I'm guessing. any other advice is welcomed. thanks

    • Find another guy to associate with.

      In fact, whoever you know that associates with him, get them out of your life.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i have two words for you, please please please please listen. FORGET HIM.

    ignore his texts, calls, emails. block him on facebook. its for youur own good you don't wanna get hurt again

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    • Thats really good advice I will follow. but why do guys do this?...or people in general..

  • he just wants some that's all

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What Girls Said 1

  • Seems he means what he says--he just wants to be friends. As his old ex-girlfriend whom he still gets along with quite well, you are excellent friend material: you know him well, you two have a lot in common, you can give him advice on literally ANYTHING, and the sex between you is in the past so the tension is (sort of) gone. He may complain about his new girlfriend to you, but everyone complains about their partner once in a while, and it seems to me he really does like her.

    So basically he wants you to be his confidante, and he's warming you up to friendship by being nice. His intentions seem sincere, but they can end up hurting you. So ask yourself, are you completely over this guy? If yes, then it's OK to be friends. If no, then maybe you should stay away from him, for your own sake...

    Good luck :)

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    • Well, he hasn't contacted me and he didn't answer my last text so I don't think he even wants to be friends. I think he was holding on to the thought of one day being a couple but possibly since our last convo maybe he realized it was all in his head and there were no sparks left. we never had sex by the way we were 15 at that time. well, I'm not the one that contacted him so he was the one thinking of me. I could be his friend no problem but I'm just confused about the whole contacting me.

    • Like why bother rekindling a friendship if you're not going to remain in contact? idk, I just don't get it.

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