Meeting my ex soon.

We are LDR. We broke up a while ago. He was supposed to move here, but, "changed his mind". I decided to go on my trip "anyway". At first he rejected even though initially he was cool with it. But when I mentioned we're 2 adults and asking him why is he so concerned about my coming, he settled down and didn't respond to those comments, and has been positive since. His conversations are slowly less bland; however, he is still being cool about my returning trip. Part of me is really glad we're friends again, and another part of me is afraid the emotions (for me) will come back, but I know I've got great willpower. The problem is, I don't know if he does. After all, he gave me a hard time about coming back. And since it was his idea to be friends, I don't see why it would be a problem to meet? (And he broke up).. so I'm the one that should be that way! Anyway, any advice about this, or similar experiences? I really would like to make a clean slate.. be the way we were before a couple, but I know that's impossible. Friends for 6, dated for 3. But this important to me and I think to him too .. I also know he was afraid of us fighting. but we never did.. it was only when he would create scenarios and it was barely impossible for me to not address. If he tries to be with me again (we've been back and forth before, and he has before and I went back)... what should I do? I did the visions in my mind of slapping across the face or kneeing in the b**** but that's all funny and reassuring but to tell you the truth, when it comes down to it, I can never do it. I know me. I'm afraid I will have this predicament on my hands, and if he does this it could cause a problem. What do you suggest to do or say if it develops this way? I'm not sure a "talk" is quite enough.. or he'll understand. After all, I'm coming from quite far to visit him, and he truly thinks I'm coming because I want to work things out. Truthfully, if it was possible that would be a yes. But honestly I don't think it will (because of him) so I don't want to get hurt again. I want to avoid anymore pain. I've been through enough. I just want my friend back!

we broke up... for 2 months, sorry. I'm working and typing.. not a good mix.
And I will NOT lie. I DO miss him. But I also want to make peace. And I think the chances of us being together despite all our plans and his promises, it won't work because he's too wishy washy. So I don't want to go down that road. BUT I still miss h
him. I need to see him. Most people hate the idea they're forced to see their ex.. or that they can. I wish I had that option. :( He's too far to know how he's doing, and to just meet him for fun. I hate that so much about our relationship, whether
we are a couple or not. It just really sucks. And I can't imagine my life without him.


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