So I dated this guy a couple years ago and things got serious. To summarize things we were together for a while, he took my v card, I told him I loved him, and he broke up with me. Well I was hurt BAD, but things got better I found a nice sweet guy who really does love me. I went to a party with the first guy last week. The guy who didn't love me, my ex, and things got a little scandalous He says he was young and made a mistake and he regrets not ever really trying to make things work and he was trying stuff. I DIDN'T cheat! but was a little inappropriate and in a way I wanted to. Now my ex is all I can think about. But I don't want to hurt the guy I'm with now because he's treated me better than anyone in my life ever has, we have been together for like five times longer than me and my ex were. We live together and he wants to start a life with me. I don't know what to do. I feel like I love both of them and can't choose, but I need to I don't want to cheat or lie or sneak around and that's what I did(not the cheating part) I need to change something. All I can seem to do is cry. I feel like such a bitch for even asking this question. go with the nice guy right, but it seems more complicated than that. me and Mr nice guy's wants in life are WAY different and me and my ex's wants are exactly the same. Perhaps that's why we both seem to run away from those who love us the most. What do I do?
How do I get over an ex?
What Guys Said 1
Here's what you you do. For a minute, close your eyes and see yourself without those two guys in your mind. Imagine who you are and what you want in your life. I'm not going to ask you to do a balance scale of the pros and cons of each guy, cause then we'll be going back and forth on that issue. Don't cheat nor lie but you do have to make a choice before you do something where it might leave you without neither one of them. The way that I see it is that if you can see yourself with this person that your currently with now as a long time partner, then I would say give him that chance. Life isn't about starting new and then going back to the past just because it decided to wake up and say "take me back." Life is about embracing the new and moving forward. Sure, the feelings of your first will always be there, but its not fair for the any new guy that comes into your life. Hell, it was hard for me as well to let go of my first, the attachment was so strong that I wouldn't allow myself to open up to anyone else but her. In the end, I hurt a lot of nice young women who didn't deserve it.
I'm sure that you're a caring women and I know that this new guy in your life is really special to you. So my advice is, give him a chance because he naturally wants to take that with you. You're ex had his and he needs to let go and so do you of him. Cause I was like that new guy that you're with now, I naturally like this girl and she really liked me, but in the end, when your ex decided to be more positive about life and such, she left me and went back to him. I was left thinking that I was at fault and unwanted. So make the right decision. But again, don't cheat cause that's going to leave a larger scar than anything else and I'm sure you don't want to be the one who creates it.0
What Girls Said 1
You have to keep in mind that a lot of douchebags will say things just to get you in bed. If he liked you like you think you like him, he wouldn't be trying to "do stuff" with you while he was confessing his feelings. Honestly, you have to look through his words. (He could be a nice guy and really like you OR he could just want in your pants.)
If you feel guilty, your heart is trying to tell you something! I would suggest that you talk to your current boyfriend. You don't necessarily have to tell him about your ex but getting his perspective on your relationship will help you make up your mind.0
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