Should you be friends with your ex?


Should you be friends with your ex?

I have decided to break up with my girlfriend.
She is too needy and desperate. She loves me a lot. She thinks about marriage and stuff. I'm scared.

I lost the feeling of love with her, but the problem is she said she will be shattered if I break up with her.
I know she is speaking truth , she will be very sad and it will break her badly emotionally.
I don't know what to do.
I'm feeling guilty, anxious and feeling I'm a terrible person to break her heart.
What should I do? Should I be friends with her after break up?

  • You shouldn't be friends with her after break up, it will stop you from moving on.
    Vote A
  • You should be friends with her after break up, it will help her cope up with the pain of break up.
    Vote B
  • Others (I want to give my opinion)
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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175

Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone has different has different views on that, but personally I never keep in contact with an ex.

    I have no need to. It causes too much drama , and complicates future relationships. I'd never want my boyfriend to be put in such an uncomfortable position. It wouldn't be fair for him if my ex was texting and calling me. We couldn't get along when we were together, so I could never look on him as a friend

    I never keep in contact with people from my past. I move on with my life. I don't hold onto something that's behind me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you shouldn't be friends with her simply because she will be "shattered" by the break up. if that is the primary reason for being friends with her i think this would have a negative impact on her ability to move on

    be friends with an ex if there is a platonic friendship involved in your relationship.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 16

  • As someone who had her heart ripped out and left shattered and still recovering the best thing for u to do is when u walk away then u stay away

    My ex likes to try being friendly with me and it causes me to feel shit for last few years until I cracked and told him to Fk off basically

    Do the right thing if u break up with her make it for good

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  • Look you’re both going to hurt when ye break up but at the end of the day sometimes you need to and she needs to understand that it’s going to hurt you too. You mightn’t realize it now but it’ll hit you eventually and you’ll miss your friend. Don’t be friends though, not unless ye genuinely are over each other. Also, I don’t get how ye haven’t just broken up considering it’s been discussed in depth already.

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  • I prefer not to, things are more complicated if you started off as good friends and a romantic relationship didn't work out but I just think it's best to let go of exes. If I don't have to have them in my life I'd rather not. In your case I think staying friends will only hurt her more having you in her life but not the way she truly wants. It seems like a sad tease.

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  • Maybe you should talk to her to change her ways then you might feel the love again cause it seems you still care
    However if you break up with her then do not be friends so hopefully she can get over you and move on with her own life

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  • This girl has made you her object of worship; her entire world. She's co-dependent. Counseling would help her, but should be done by a professional. Think about why you got together to begin with. What were your and her expectations then, and has that changed? What have both of you contributed to the relationship? How long have you been a couple? Were you friends before you started dating? Marrying her won't end her insecurity. Maybe you could pursue couples counseling together?

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  • It can’t be helped if you have lost that loving feeling!
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PLzVbz2HHzo

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  • It'll probably hinder you from moving on if she is clingy but it you think you can support her while still being able to move on and it is what YOU want to do (not what she wants) then go ahead. But think of yourself first.

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  • Don't be friends at first, for however long it takes her to move on. 3 months, 6 months, a year, more if needed. Once she moved on and knows she can be happy without you, maybe has a new relationship she's happy in, that's when you can try to actually be friends.

    Anything else is torture. You can't stay friends with her as long as she has feelings for you. That's gonna hurt her so much and she won't get over you and you'll just drag the process out and ruin any chance of actual friendship later on.

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  • It really depends on the circumstances. In this case, you shouldn't remain friends because she will keep the hope in her mind that you will come back

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  • You shouldn't be friends because all she will remember is you running away after you two basically played each other. If you weren't going to take it seriously with her you should have made all of that clear from the very beginning before becoming official. It was all a waste. And I wouldn't call it love. Love isn't fleeting as your making it. The only advice I can say with your problem is you needed to seek professional counseling for your avoidance behavior and insecurities. Otherwise, don't date right away. Give yourself a few months. Before you end up hurting another girl who shares those values. Also if you do end up dating, make that clear that your not interested on the things you left you will be leaving her for. It's not fair to your her that's all I can say.

    You need to seriously talked to her about your issues. Any and all insecurities you have. That is what she is for. However, don't expect her to stay if her views and values conflicts to hers.

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  • When you break up with her, leave her alone, don't try to be friends at all. Don't try to keep up with her life NOTHING. That will do her harm more than the actual break up.

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  • You dont have to break up with her, you juast need to talk to her about how you feel and think about her, about how needy and desprete she's being. Talking is just the answer to your problem

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  • You dont have to be friends with her if you dont want too

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  • Two past lovers can't be friends.

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  • It depends on you two and how you both manage the situation personally. I myself find that sometimes time out is better to cry and heal without them holding you back, and then once all of the emotions have cooled off you can go back to being actual friends.

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  • No if she is too needy how will she every get over you? If you want her to have some sort of independence you need to not be in her life.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Being friends with her after breakup will make it harder for both of you to move on.
    So no, you shouldn't be friends with an ex.

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  • Set rules make her keep them else breakup. Treat her like NOTHING HAPPENED. See other people. Give her a chance to follow your rules. evaluate options

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  • The answer is NO.

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  • you can not be friends with an ex, it doesn't work

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