"I'm not ready for a relationship right now"

So 6 months or so ago, I met a girl, and she was the first girl I've ever met that I truly get along with, shares many of the same interests, especially musical taste, not to mention she's also a musician like myself. We could both fall under the stereotype of "punk" also. Anyways to put it out there right away, she just got out of a 3 year relationship(it was her first) 3 months prior to, and she also only wanted a fling with me, but I didn't know all this until later. So we started hanging out, and she was really into me. She was often asking me to hang out. We started getting kinda intimate, just making out, we never had sex, but she was incredibly turned on by me. I wanted for us to be in a relationship, and even asked her, and she said yes, but she asked that we not make it known(ie not put it as facebook status and what not) but I didn't question it. So we went for a month or so, me under the impression we were dating, just I couldn't tell people. Anyways she first kinda half breaks it off saying she's not ready for a relationship but still kinda wanted to fool around. Then 2 weeks later she finally ends it. Reasons being she's to busy with things(for example she had just joined a band when we met and they were recording an album, working full time for the summer, then at the end of the summer she had to move out for school) and the obvious, not ready for a relationship. But she made a bigger point to mention all the things she liked about me and what not, telling me things like I'm the only "datable" guy she knows, always mentioning how attractive I am, so much stuff. Now what I don't understand for the life of me is why can't she be ready? I mean we are obviously compatible together and both are attracted to each other, even now when we do hang out she still will give me the same kinda admiring looks from time to time. And another point to mention, her relationship prior to didn't even end badly, she's still friends with the guy, but the problem for her was he didn't seem attracted to her, that was the problem. So again, can someone shed some light as to why she would say this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • She is obviously confused. Also I hate to say this, but might still have feelings for her ex... She just might want to be single right now. However, it mostly sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. Don't let her with you! My advice, act like you don't care. I mean don't be a d*ck, but act like you are cool with not being together. Act busy, be busy. Don't act interested. Play hard to get. That is what my ex is doing to me and it's driving me crazy! Then she will wonder "huh, I wonder why one day he is all interested in me and now he isn't?" It might take her a little while to realize what she could of had with you. Who knows maybe by then you will have moved on and so it will be her loss.

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