Dealing with my girlfriend sleeping with other guys before me?

this guy I know talked crap with sleeping with my girlfriend and she wasn't my girlfriend so I didn't care at the time. but he calls me talking crap and now it really gets to me. I told her what he said and she didn't deny it so I know that she did sleep with him and I hate it. how do I get over that she slept with 4 other people before me . what can I do to get this off my mind. I only usually think of this when we are apart, and now we are going to different schools so I'm thinking about it all the time now. what to do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's with you now, that's all that should matter. You should trust her enough to let it go, the past is the past, and that's all it is. This other guy sounds some really immature idiot, if he has to keep going on about it. Ignore him, live your life and don't listen to anyone who talks crap at you

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What Girls Said 6

  • Hey, I get it. No one wants some guy talking sh*t about having sex with your girlfriend. But, think about it, this guy is a total a-hole and why in the world are you talking to him? He's no friend, he's a big jerk.

    Beyond that, the longer you are on this planet Earth the more likely it is you will be dating someone who has a sexual past. Usually we recognize this quietly and do not have to think about it. Unfortunately for you, you have a horrible friend. And, yes, long distance relationships are tough, but you obviously care about her and she feels the same for you. What will happen while you are separated is anyone's guess and I am talking about you as well as her. I am sure you recognize that just because she had sex before you doesn't mean she is anymore or less likely to stray to another guy while you are apart. You both will have chances to meet other people of the opposite sex at your own schools and both of you have a chance of meeting someone you like and ending what you have with each other. You are young, you are in college, it happens.

    Best of luck in moving forward, telling your friend off, and keeping an open mind with your girl.

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    • Awesome answer!

    • I don't talk 2 him he talks 2 me and is a bitch about it talking through his friend fb profile or calling from different numbers

    • Thanks Mikkie 180. QA-sorry to hear you have a stalker a-hole friend. Why do you think he is so bent on creating this drama? Does he feel like you stole this girl from him or is he just a mean-spirited person in general? He may just enjoy knowing he is getting a rise out of you. Eventually he will tire of this childish game.

  • Most people have a sexual past and it's your insecurities that are the problem, not her or this guy talking crap. Sure he's being immature, but it's not her fault and at least she was honest with you about it. Maybe take sometime to decide why you're insecure about it and try to get past it. I mean I'm guessing you weren't a virgin before her, and she's not holding that against you is she?

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    • No I don't even kno about that we were not virgins and the guy talking crap didn't take her v card just a grammar school friend who she thought was different and it didn't turn out that way!

  • Well if this helps you think of it this way,

    He is her ex, and he is her ex for a reason. She chose you, and the other guys did not make it to her life now. You are the only in her life now, and probably you're the only one she wants in her life right now.

    Idk if thinking that will help you. Good luck though

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  • You just gotta get over it!

    My boyfriend slept with a lot of girls before me.

    Of course it bugs me, but I know he's with me now and he loves me, so I accept that the past is the past and move on.

    Ignore the idiot, be the bigger person.

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  • Occupy your mind with something else. why the f*** would the guy keep telling you this when he knows you're dating her!? I think he wannnntttts to p*ss you off. maybe he is jealous? I don't know go take you anger out on a boxing bag lol just let it out somehow and keeps your mind off of it by doing something.

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  • yeah, were you a virgin before her? I was a virgin before my boyfriend and he shoved it in my face (bragging) about his ex and his experience with sex... disgusting. at least she is not shoving it in your face and you are just findingi t out through some other dude. Hey now, at least you have trust that she won't cheat on you. that's why youa re with her... that's why I'm with my guy. I have trust he won't cheat. and that's what really matters, is trust! I guess you want her to really love you and have saved herself for you? I wish he would have done the same, but now they can' do anythingn about it because it is the past and they were people who made mistakes... so the only thing they can say is sorry they did it and yeah it was a mistake and they regret it... who knows if I believe my boyfriend when he says it or not... only I can decide and only you can decide if you want to stay or not. but I would try to not let it be that BIG of a problem if you and her get along that's what really matters. stop thinking about it, dont' let it ruin your happiness with her. she might be a nice girl... *don't look at me though, I may say it but I still have problems with it too... so I sort of know what you are feeling man!

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What Guys Said 8

  • don't be in a relationship if you can't handle long distance, that's number 1. if you are lacking trust in your significant other that she might be messing around, its probably because she hasn't instilled enough confidence in you to think that way. but you should think about it, because why would she bother being in a relationship with you if she were simply going to throw it away? if this isn't a problem and all you're thinking about is her history, well then you need to learn to just deal with it. think about it this way, what if she started stressing over the girls you've slept with? what if she came up to you and tried to talk to you about it? would you reassure her it was just the past and all that mattered was her? you'd be surprised how well it could work out if you simply talked about your insecurities with her, especially if she is your girlfriend. so what if you show a little insecurity? at least you give a sh*t. make the first move, be confident in yourself and what you want to hear out of her, but also think about her perspective as well. as always, don't overextend your words to make them threats in any way, its all about finding out the problems and fixing them.

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  • What to do? Well, in my opinion, keep it cool after all she is with you. Just think about how many men your mother were with before she met your father. In fact you could have been a bastard son of one of your mother's fling (I am a bastard child of my mother's indiscretion) Not to troll your question or anything, just trying to put things in perspective that in this big bad world, much much worse things could have happened and you didn't even take it into account. That's all I have to say! (Notice that if I were to troll you I would have used the conveniently cowardly path of the so called "anonymous" ID.,

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  • Ok, let's take a very superficial route on my answer, and bring up a point I think is relevant.

    Lets pretend for a second that she never slept with anyone before you.

    Then you have sex... it's going to be HORRIBLE.

    The first time I slept with a girl, we were both virgins, and you know what? It pretty much sucked.

    Now once we had sex a dozen more times, it got progressively better each time.

    Her having slept with 4 guys before you isn't BAD, dude. It tells you that she has experience, but at the same time isn't a slut (I knew an 19 year old girl once who had had sex with like 30 other guys before we went on our first-and-last date).

    Now the only reason, I think, that it bugs you is because of that ONE guy who won't stop talking sh*t. Your just going to have to deal with it, or kick his ass, one.

    Just be glad your not her first, because it's awkward and unpleasant.

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  • we all ,yes even you have a past of being with others in relationships. would you want someone you may like or love holding that over your head as you do this girl you say your with right now?

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  • jusy because she slept with 4 other dudes before you doesn't mean that she's gonna cheat that's what it sounds like your worried about to me. just because your going to different schools doesn't mean she's thinking that she has a easy way to have some fun with out you knowing

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  • Read my article!

    link

    He can see that he can get a Virtual Hormone Flow from you so he goes for it! Stop being his whore and turn the tables!

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  • not the kindest words but if it still bugs you then don't be with here you don't want that always on your mind

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  • For get what he says about her you are the one with now and that all that real matter at this point and so what if she slept 4 people be for she was with you . ask you self this how mine people did you sleep with be for her and what would she thing about your past sex life be for her. I don,t think it would real matter to her do you.She is sleeping with you now and no one but and that all that matter to her and should all that matter to you as well.

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