It's been a week now with no contact and I plan to not contact him if I can.

Sorry it's long, but bare with me.

My ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. He still wanted to be friends and I told him that I needed some time to figure things out. I was and am still heart broken. Two days later he messaged me and told me he loves me and the he is in pieces. Then I said "what do you want me to say? You wanted this. You know I love you." Then he said he was sorry and he acted on emotions and signed off. I haven't heard from him so I text him to see how he was and how he felt. He said that "he missed me, but that this (the break-up) is necessary. UMMM WTF?

Then I had some of his things and called him and we got in a fight about the break up and how I didn't understand it. He told me he loves me again. I told him I couldn't handle being friends and that it would be torture to talk to him and act like that we were never in love.

I said some things that were a little harsh, but true. The next day I heard from a mutual friend that his mother was very ill. I felt bad for the things I said I tried to apologize the next day and he said that he understood, but was very cold to me. Like he was straight out rude. I told him that if he ever needed me to talk I was here. That I love and care about him. He said that we couldn't go from being in love to friends overnight...UMMMM AGAIN WTF?

Then he quickly made an excuse to hurry and get off the phone with me. Later he text that he was sorry to hang up so quick and than he loves me too. I just don't get it? It's been a week now with no contact and I plan to not contact him if I can. I love him, but he is so up and down. Will he ever realize what he had? I was a damn good g/f. We dated for almost a year.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Whoaaaa no wonder your confused, he is giving completely mixed signals I suggest really no contact for a month don't reply to his texts etc no matter what he says unless its 'I've made a terrible mistake please take me back' .

    I know how you feel the night my girl dumped me she tried to kiss me like WTF ! Then that night she texted saying I hope you know I love you again WTF ! I said the same as you I can't be your friend cause I love you and she just went crazy calling me selfish and every name under the sun ...

    • I know it is like they want to have their cake and eat it too! I'm not that kind of girl, bad enough I cried to him as much as I did. I still miss the guy who I met and thought he was. However I haven't heard from him for like a week now and I haven't contacted him either. I don't plan to contact him.I don't know if he even really understands the meaning of love. When you love someone, you don't leave them.

      I think our exes have A LOT of growing up and reality checks that need to hit them.

    • Show All
    • Yea I agree. He runs away when things get too serious. Which at 29 you'd think he would grow up already...I'm feeling better. I have my mad, sad, and so-so moments. I think not talking is helping. Just sucks when we have mutual friends and I hear that he is having a great time and I feel like I was the only one who cared. How are you?

    • Im not too bad thanks, miss her greatly but you just have to keep telling yourself that for some reason our respective exs felt we are not good enough for them HA, their loss, the no talking although hard does help doesn't it ! 29 he really should'nt be running away

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What Guys Said 2

  • its not your fault! you need to move on this won't be fixed and him being up and down means he knows he doesn't want you but its easier to get back with you when he's lonely for sex or company because he knows you have feelings for him. he'll more than likely try and talk to you after dating someone else and it not working out. more or less using you as a rebound to make him feel better!

  • Well, you know what to do already... just leave him be... he ain't worth the time wasted, or the effort.


What Girls Said 1

  • Leave him alone for now. He's giving you mixed messages and playing games. perhaps something serious is going on or maybe not. Either way he shouldn't be so erratic in his behavior toward you . It's common decency you deserve. I'd say avoid him/ignore any attempts at contact with him. Cutting ties with him will help you avoid getting sucked into his head games and drama.


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