Why is my ex-girlfriend doing this? Is she torn on getting back together?

Me and my ex broke up 5 weeks ago... we started talking again a week ago after no contact for 4 weeks. When we started talking she said that she loves me and misses me. I asked her if she wanted to try things again, but not anytime soon. She said yes, but she won't consider it until she finds a job and is stable. 3 days later she calls me crying tell me she just wants to be friends and I asked what happened since our last talk. She said that she is not sure if she just needs time and she loves me and cares for me so she doesn’t want to keep me on the back burner. She told me that she can't even tell me now if she needs time or not. She has been in a relationship for a long time. We were just together for 2 years but she just came out of a 4 year when I met her. She told me that right now she likes how she just stays home, studies, doesn’t care if no one calls her all day... I'm 32 she is 31. She just wanted me to know that she doesn’t know what her mind set will be in a month or two. She says she may be like what the hell was I thinking and yes she wants to be with me but she just doesn’t know. But she is telling me this because she cares about me. So what do I do from here... continue to talk to her? I asked her 2 days ago if she thought about us getting back together and she said she hasn’t because she is just calm and stress free now and not thinking or worrying about anything.. But in the same convo she also acknowledged how I said I didn’t want to get back together now anyway... what do I do? Do I call her a few times a week? What is she thinking... thank you for all your advice on how to get her back.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she is confused because what she needs is space and what she wants she is unsure of. My suggestion is to talk to her about taking space to think about things, and both of you think and set a time say a month or two and come back together and talk about what you both want and need from each other. Whether it is really breaking up or taking the steps to rebuild your relationship.

    Also she could be feeling confused because she no longer wants to be in a relationship but likes the comfort of having you there.


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