My ex fiancee wants to do lunch, she does not realize what she did to me.

Hey guys and gals.

We have been broken up for over a month now. I have not been making first contact but she has maintained contact with emails ect. she did the dirty on me and I broke it off with her as she was hurting me so bad with the lies and weird stuff happening behind my back. I know I should just leave it and move on but I still have feelings for her,and will do for a while. I really want to mend things with her or just to hear her say she is sorry for what she did.. there must have been a reason she wants to have lunch? or is she just feeling sorry for what she did to me. does she want her cake and to eat it too..please tell me what she is playing at? I know she is dating already.

if you want to know the full story please read my first question.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, if I were you, I would cut-off contact and move on. I know I do not know her personally, but you were engaged and have only been broken up a month and she is already dating? I am 30 and I have had 3 serious relationships(including my current relationship) it took me at least 6 months to start casual dating and at least 1 1/2 years to even think serious relationship again. I need time to myself after a relationship ends. It sounds like she wants to have the best of both worlds. She wants you when it suits her and on the flipside freedom to date whomever she wants. Just because you love someone, doesn't make them right for you. She seems to be very self involved and I think she is stringing you a long. Who cares if she wants to have lunch, tell her no! Break-ups are hard and sometimes you never fully get over that person, but you have to ask yourself, what you are willing to put up with. Do you want to constantly worry about if she is being faithful? The more you talk to her, the harder it will be to get over her. I think you deserve to be treated with respect and not have your fiancee lie and "do the dirty" behind your back. Anyway, that is just my opinion. I hope it helped a little and good luck!

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What Girls Said 2

  • if you don't want a repeat of the past, please move on and say you don't want to hang out or don't return her call.

    you know she's dating already? well screw her. you deserve better.

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    • Yea I totally know I can do better. buy why does she want to "do lunch" I left her with our puppy too. and miss the little fella, she is always saying to come visit it..is that an excuse to just get me to come over and see how happy she is without me?

  • If she is so quick to date already, then something doesn't seem right. If you're dating in potential to marriage, then I would say that you need to look for someone that is stable and consistent and most importantly, honest with their word. Your ex-fiancee seems like she had a little bit of a doubt marrying you in the first place, thus why she may have been going behind your back; it's perfectly o.k. You will be o.k. with time and you will see that there is someone out there much better suited for your personality than she was! You just have to accept the fact that it will take time to mend this broken heart of yours.

    Try and fight the craving to see her and move on with your life. Though having someone tell you to move on may feel and hear like a cliche or more commonly felt, impossible, that's really the only way to describe where you should be heading.

    In life, we are constantly moving, we are never staying in one exact place. The only question we have to ask ourselves is if we are moving forward, or if we're moving backward. Think about what direction you're taking when you're with her.

    All the best and good luck!

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What Guys Said 4

  • Depends on how she is acting. If she is acting like nothing happened then she obviously isn't grasping the situation and how serious it is. If it seems like it's an apology type lunch, then I'd still be careful. I'm sure you want to make things better, but wanting something to happen is a lot different than what can actually be done. Does it make sense to repair it when she was apparently going behind your back and wasn't acting serious? After reading your other question, this girl is nothing but trouble. She has showed signs of cheating on numerous occasions and just generally acts immature for a 27 year old. You need to find someone better, so my vote goes toward the "leave her for the better life" option.

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  • I think you need closure. Seek it at the lunch date, but don't be fooled by your old feelings.

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  • Hell, tell her how you feel... she's your ex... not your current girl... As a matter of fact, I wouldn't go to lunch with her... I would tell her how I feel, how she's wrong, and just exactly where she can stick it. I advise you NOT to go to lunch with her... bust her sorry ass and MOVE THE F*** ON... Stop torturing yourself over this chick...

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  • I domn't think you have to break contact completely, you just need to gain control of your emotions, toughen up. Say no to dinner with her, but you can still e-mail etc. Don't let this woman control your life, she has a finger still wrapped around you.

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