So here's the deal. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years.
3 months into our relationship, on Christmas Eve, she made out with her ex-boyfriend while I was out of sight. She fessed up to this later, tears and pleading ensued, and we decided to put it behind us.
About 2 years into our relationship, I was SUPER busy with work, working 70 hours per week for about a month. During this time, I also was sent overseas for my job for a week. While I was away, she fooled around with another guy, making out and pleasuring themselves together (no sex, she swears).
She fessed up to this as well, but blamed me, saying that I was neglecting her and not giving her enough attention while I was working (she wasn't working at the time, and was out of college, so she had 100% free time).
We had the giant fight, yeah, THAT one, screaming tears, etc etc, she swore nothing like that would ever happen again, and I apologized to her for not giving her enough attention, while she apologized for overreacting to it.
Fast forward to last week. Things are going great, sex life is fine, we're both happy, looking for a house, engagement ring shopping, etc. She's working now too, and back in college. All is well. She meets a new friend at school, and is spending A LOT of time with him. That's not like her.
I'll admit. I snooped. Many text messages back and forth, saying they love each other, and then another where they talk about how the had sex the other night. Great...
We had some friends over the other night, and he was there as well. I was the DD, so I had to take someone home at the end of the night. Out of curiosity, I set up my phone to record audio while I was away (20 minutes). I came back, listened to the audio, and they had sex in the 20 MINUTES while I was gone.
Unbelievable. Anyway, at all other times, she's still fully lovey dovey with me, talking about our future, our upcoming anniversary, the holidays, marriage, etc -- like everything is fine. I play it cool, she has no idea that I know.
We really do love each other very very much. We've been through a lot, have a lot in common, and like I said, were talking about marriage. Been together THREE YEARS. Is this the last straw? Another chance? Is she just getting cold feet and looking for one last hurrah, or is it once a cheater always a cheater?
It'd kill me to be alone again, and realize that I've wasted 3 years of my life. I've given everything for this girl...
Just need some advice from a neutral party and a clear head, because I'm pretty messed up right now.
Most Helpful Girl
It should be the last straw. Seriously move on. I don't believe that once a cheater always a cheater. But it's like "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me" She has fooled you 3 times now. That should be enough of being hurt and you have good reasons to end it. The worst part is that she's just going on as if nothing has happened. As if everything is perfect. Being cheated on once, I think you should give her another chance like you did. Second time though? No, I think you should had ended it. Third time? Of course, end it. Find another girl that will not cheat on you. It's obvious that she's not ready for a relationship and to be committed unlike you. Please, as someone who has been cheated on before, once is enough even if it's not with sex, but three times? That's ridiculous. Just end it. And it's not wasting you're time. It was knowing what you should and shouldn't do in a relationship so when you're in a FULL COMMITTED one, mistakes that you made in this one, won't be in the next one.1