If your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife were married before, and their significant other passed away...

would you go with them to put flowers on their grave? or would you refuse to go? would you even let them go? only asking because my dad died and my mom's new boyfriend doesn't want her to go out to the cemetery and put flowers on his grave.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would definitely go with them (provided that they wanted me to). When I'm with someone, I want to be there for them and support them. I want to show them that I respect the people in their life who they care about, both past and present. I might wonder if I'll be able to fill the shoes of their previous love, but I know that it's not about that---our love is something unique and special between us, and I can't compare that to someone's love with anyone else.

    I guess I can understand how some people might feel threatened by the feelings that their spouse may have for their deceased spouse, but no one has the right to "not let" them visit their grave. Going with them might feel awkward, so I think it's okay to just say that you don't feel comfortable going, but not letting your spouse go is just wrong and controlling.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Fuck him, that's messed up, If he doesn't want to go that's one thing, but telling your mom she shouldn't put flowers on her deceased husbands grave is messed up, unless he was a horribly bad man or something.

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  • Absolutely I would go with them. If you are in a relationship, you have to respect their past. Obviously the deceased was an intricate part of your partners life. I am sorry for the loss of your father also.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Maybe her boyfriend is just uncomfortable with that? If that's the case, then it shouldn't be held against him as long as he is honest with her.

    If it was me, I would go with the person to the grave site to show my support and respect. I mean, even though the person is deceased, he/she was a part of my partner's life at one time. If I am involved with that person then I would want to be involved in all aspect's of his life.

    My condolences for the loss of your father.

    Best of luck.

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  • Yeah I would totally go with them.

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  • What does he think she's going to do... cheat on him with a dead body?

    That is messed up, I would want a VERY good reason from him why the hell not.

    I am very sorry about your father.

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