Calling my ex after no contact?

Hey guys and girls, I am going to call my ex today after no contact for 30 days. I'm in the mindset of moving on don't worry but obviously I still care and want to give things another go if its possible.

Any idea's on what I should say when I call her. I don't want her to feel threatened by the phone call but I do want to ask if she's like to meet up for lunch at some point over the weekend?

What would you ladies like to hear after not speaking to your ex for a while, providing you still have feelings for them?

Updates:
Well I rang her and she answered and seemed happy to speak to me. Unfortunately she was driving and on her way out so she asked if she should give me a call later. I played it cool and said she can ring me tomorrow if she's going out tonight.
Now we play the waiting game which is going to suck! :) But I figure if she was happy to answer the phone to me while driving she obviously doesn't not want to speak to me. Right now to keep myself busy for the next 24 hours lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • coming from a guy who was in exactly your position more than once with my ex (who I've dated for 4 years), you are definitely not over her whatever you say. No matter who broke with who, she is going to have every intension that you are trying to stir things up again. Meet up for coffee. Getting food is to much time spent together. If she does decide to meet up with you, you actually meet up, don't offer to drive. When you talk, you can talk about anything and everything besides your relationship. Don't bring it up, don't say I miss you, and don't mention your hook ups with other girls. If youd like you can mention that youve been on a date or two. just to show her you tried moving on. this could show that youve went on a date and ended up thinking about her. but don't go to overboard with it. all you have to say is that you thought about her and was thinking about something fun you guys did together. when you are talking over coffee its going to be short because its only been 30 days so let her talk and show her that you are listening. don't day dream. look in her eyes and really listen. if things go well, (and I know you will ask so ill tell you, you will know when things go well, its that gut feeling and that smile on her face), ask if she would like to meet up again. if she brings up the relationship, don't point any fingers and calmly talk about it. if she asks you about getting back together just simply say that you would be interested in starting over and ask her on an actual date. good luck. and side note if you were truly over her you wouldn't be posting this. any questions add me. been through this a million times my friend

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    • Of course I'm not over her or I wouldn't be wanting to try things again :) when I said I'm ready to move on I just meant I'm not in that needy, depressed stage I was at the beggining. I've gone out, done my own thing and feel that there has been enough time with no contact on either side to figure out what we both want. Of course I'll still be hurting. I just think I'm now in the posision to talk to her without sounding like a needy droop.

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    • Its really up to you dude. if you feel strong enough to not bring up any feelings you felt from the breakup and are able to carry out a regular conversation then go for it if you still feel for the girl. also one month is a long time but also depends how long you guys went out. from what I know I think you are at the stage where you want to move on but also want to know if things can work out. so do what you strongly feel in your heart. also BIG tip- think before talking and acting.

    • Ah yeah sorry, we were together for 2 years. It may sound pretty naive but I'm pretty sure she still has strong feelings for me, we just needed to let things cool off for a bit as we both went through a lot in the last months before the split. I wanted to give her enough time to get over the breakup before I made contact with her again. I think I'm more ready to give things another go than move on but at least after a couple of meetings with her I'll have my answer either way :)

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • If I still had feelings for them, I think I would like to hear that you'd thought about the things that had made you break up. Whichever those reasons were would depend.

    Don't be too pushy and be like "I've missed you so much! I love you!" etc. Just take it a step at a time, but definitely make your feelings clear. That way, if she is interested in trying again she knows how you feel.

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    • See I'm in two minds about doing that. I don't want our first meeting to be talking about the relationship. I just want to keep things casual so we can build a repore. I don't want to call her and tell her I miss her ect I just mearly want to ask if she would like to catch up and go for lunch. Is there a subtle way of asking that doesn't say I miss you and just want to see you?

    • I think she would probably already guess what you're calling for, in my opinion any way. If my ex boyfriend called me a month later asking to meet up, I'd be quite suspicious what his intentions were. I'm not sure there is anything that you can say that will be a hint towards "I miss you and want to see you" I think the best thing you can do is call her up and see how's she doing before asking her out to lunch, and then build the contact back up if she wishes.

  • if you broke up with her, then ask how she's been, what's new in her life. Since you intended on getting back together, don't forget to tell her that you miss her. Ask her for lunch or even just a coffee. Or maybe your mutual friends are getting together and ask her to be there. Basically, organise a meeting.

    If she broke up with you, you can still do the above but maybe don't tell her that you miss her because if she has moved on then you will sound clingy. But you can ask to catch up over a friendly meeting.

    Remember this: If it happens that she says that she doesn't wanna see you again, remind her that you spent a significant ammount of time together and it meant a lot to both of you at the time. If you won't ever see each other again, well was that time worth it? Probably not. You need to stay friends or otherwise all the good times that you shared willl just become a waste and you both don't want that.

    Good luck!

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  • dump her.

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  • What ever ended up happening with you guys?

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    • She's pregnant and moving to Wales with the other fella :)

What Guys Said 2

  • if you dated for more then a year, don't do it yet...I know you feel good now, and if you play your cards right she will be attracted to you again, and shell see you for a couple of dates maybe even put out, then shell dump you again and you will have to wait three months to see her again. If she really regrets hurting you and the breakup itself, she will contact you in some way. Otherwise your reaching and she will use you and you will be crushed! If you can hang out but refuse anything sexual for a long time, make her really work for it, then try that, otherwise your gonna be reall really back to square one (wont last as long though).

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  • i think if you are going to ask to meet for lunch,dont try to rush that meet,bring it up,but don't set a date when, give her time to think! and definitely tell her how you feel,good luck

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