I just found out today that my ex is now seeing a girl.

I just found out today that my ex is now seeing (not official though) a girl. We have been broken up for only a month and he more or less broke up with me and two days after we broke up he professed his love for me and how it will never fade. Then I said I needed time to think. I told him the next day that I loved him and wanted to make this work. Then he said that he now needed time! AHHH! Talk about mixed signals! Then I found out today that 5 days after him and I broke up and 3 days after he told me he loved me, he meet this girl...how can he move on so fast? I feel like a fool, because for a month I have been crying over him and he is getting his jollies on with a stranger! I'm hurt and confused. Any advice or support is much needed and appreciated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The exact same thing happened to me. I dated a girl for a year and we broke up, then two days later, she's already seeing another guy. I was crushed and felt like the past year was a lie and a waste, not to mention the obvious self esteem issues that followed. It's a very rough situation. About 2 weeks after the break up, she wants to talk and says all the usual BS - "You were the greatest thing ever, I regret every mistake, I want to go back and stop all this, I still love you, blah blah blah."

    She then told me she wanted to get back together and said she would allow me all the time in the world to think about it, because obviously I was cautious. The next day, she said it wouldn't work out... At first I just accepted it, but then I got angry and realized that the entire situation was really messing with my emotions. I cut all ties with her. I ignore her when I see her, removed every present memory of her, took her number out my phone, everything... Now I'm focusing on school, work, and healing. People are right, exercise helps. Go running and listen to your favorite songs, it's a great way to take your mind off things...

    Moral of the story I suppose - He's not worth your time to be upset about. Sure, you WILL be upset, you just broke up and he's seeing someone else, that's awful. But is that really the kind of person you see yourself with later down the road? Do the necessary healing and crying, but be thankful that it's over. Obviously, he has some major emotional flaws and just has NO clue what he wants. That's immaturity and lack of worldly / life experience. There's plenty of guys out there and a ton of them aren't crazy and seemingly emotionless... Get over the break up, get your life back on track, and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. =)

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    • You are right, it is hard. I have to accept that he isn't the same person I feel in love with and moving on is best. He has a lot of growing up to do at age 29. Thanks for your comment!

    • It's not a problem.. I'm still in the process of getting over all the stuff happening to me, but know that when you do get over him and are ready to get your life back on track, you will be a much stronger person for getting to know the side of yourself that CAN be alone and CAN get over a harsh situation. That's more than you can say about him, who immediately fills the void with a new person and will never grow or learn from his experiences. Everything will work out. Best of luck. =)

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What Guys Said 2

  • You know honestly I find that a lot of people on here give you the advise you don't want to hear and are sinical because of the bad experiences they have had. Let me give you some true unbiased and honest advise. If you were a great girlfriend then you have set the bar pretty high so him seeing another girl will work in your favour because it will get too a biting point where he realizes that she doesn't match up to you. You know if you were a good girlfriend and you have more to offer than this other girl which in my opinion is a rebound because he is used to being in a relationship.

    Ask yourself these questions and answer yourself honestly:

    1) How long where you together

    2) How good was the relationship on a whole.

    3) Did you make him feel special

    4) Did he make you feel special

    5) Do you think that before he broke it off that he saw a long future between the two of you.

    Chances are if you answer these all honestly (appart from the first question which is quite obvious) and feel that you have the upper hand then one of two things will happen:

    1) He will come around after a few weeks/months with this new girl and confess his love for you and you will be happy, rejoice and get back together or

    2) He will come around after a few weeks/moths with this new girl and confess his love for you and you will have moved on and realized its for the best that you didn't get back together.

    until that time comes you MUST get a routine going. Go and exercise and work on your physical apperance until the time comes with meeting you ex again. This will work wonders for both outcomes a) he will see how great you are looking and think what he is missing out on and

    b) You will be more attractive to other suiters

    Stay positive and remember that a lot of us here on this forum are going through the same as you right now.

    You will get through this I promise :)

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    • I was a kick @ss girlfriend I did so much for him and his family. I can't express that enough! We were together for almost a year. Things didn't start to go south until the last 2 months. So I know that every girl after me will be a down grade. I know I need to move on and today I blocked him on social sites. I have been taking care of myself more though. To not only rub it in when we run in to each other (we live in a small city) plus to look good for myself.

  • Sounds like you just need to go out with friends and get laid.

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    • Hang out with friends yes...getting laid not so much. I don't want a rebound or one night stand. I'm not that kind of women. I like relationships. :)

What Girls Said 2

  • Theres nothing much to say :/ I'm sorry, I know it hurst, I know what you're talking about, my ex boyfriend of 4 years (who cheated one me, but cried like a baby when I said I didn't want anymore), started seeing a girl 2 WEEKS after I dumped him, who is now his currently gf...

    So, what can I say? Sometimes, it happens for the best... just live one day after the other (seems cliche but worked for me).

    So, I hope you feel better soon. :)

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    • Thank you! Everyone's care and concern made me feel better!

  • Honey, f*** this kid.

    I know it sucks that you're getting the short end of the stick, but if his definition of "forever" is a couple of days, I don't see why you'd let that get to you.

    It's okay to cry. Cry as hard as you can right now. But give yourself a time line. He's not worth it, really.

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    • Yea I don't need someone in my life who is so flaky and unreliable. Still hurts though, but I will be alright.

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