Girlfriend hurt by ex-boyfriend but still talking to him?

My girlfriend's last relationship ended several months before we met, and she was hurt by this guy. I understand that she still cares about him as a person and wants to be friends. They keep in touch casually, maybe once a month she says. But she told me that last night when she was having a breakdown she called him for guidance and someone to listen to her / calm her down. I told her that really bugs me because I want to be there for her. Shouldn't she think of calling me in that case, not him? Especially because he hurt her in the past, I just don't understand it. She driving was on the way to see me anyway when it happened. What should I do about this situation?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I dated a guy for several years, we were in different places in our lives and that's what led to our break up. We stayed in contact with each other and still talk daily. I just recently ended a realtionship a few months ago and this ex-boyfriend was always upset that I spent time with my frist ex. I understood why and I kept saying that there was nothing between us and there honestly wasn't. What I think that he didn't understand was that we did have an amazing friendship and I was afraid to lose that relationship out of my life.

    After this last relationship I realized that I hadn't put any boundaries on my friendship with my other ex-boyfriend. I wish that I realized that sooner and I also wish that my boyfriend would of spent time understanding why my ex and I still talked instead of assuming that there was romantic feelings or that we were fooling around. It wasn't that my ex was more important it was just that I knew I could turn to him because of what we had gone through. I still have no romantic feelings for my frist ex-boyfriend, even now that I'm single.

    Maybe you should attempt to understand why she wants to keep ex-boyfriend in here life.


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What Girls Said 1

  • It seems like she's still hung up on him, and not over him at all. Maybe she's telling herself she is, but it doesn't seem that way - does it?


What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly, I think you need to sit her down and ask her if she wants a future with you or to live in the past with her ex. She can't have it both ways because it's very disrespectful and hurtful to you.

    • I agree, you need to ask if who it is she really wants.

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