Why does my fiancee keep letters and pictures from his ex-fiancee?

They have been apart for eh maybe over a year and a half, yet he still has all these thing from her, he even told me he will always love the girl, that part to me is somewhat understandable but something in me is telling me that he is over her. This really bothers me, should it? Also, I really need a mans opinion on this, he thinks its okay to look at other women in front of me, sees absolutely no wrong in this, when we discussed it and I explained that it was disrespectful he made it seem like I was acting as if it were the end of the world! I asked why on earth would he feel the need to eye down another woman with me there...No clear response...Just bs...I really love this guy and want to marry him but some of the things he does and very ify..Should I be concerned? Also, he has a child with another women, when we first started talking he didn't wanna tell her because he thought she would act crazy and maybe keep him from seeing the child, I understand this...But they were almost in a relationship while we started talking, supposedly he cut that off and she is still in love with him. She still doesn't know about me. He goes to college and work in the same town that she lives in on a daily basis, is there anything fishy about this situation at all? I know this is a lot, please answer all. Thank you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems like he's the type to be very needy/emotionally-dependent (i.e. was engaged to someone else a little over a year and half ago and already engaged to you, was almost dating his baby's momma right before you came along/didn't want her to know about you, etc.)

    Just out of curiosity -- how long was he single for before starting to date you? Especially if you two are already engaged, I'm assuming you've invested some time into this. If it wasn't long, it's probably likely he never gave himself enough time to get over her.

    I'm just concerned about how easy it seems for him to find people that he's interested in loving/marrying. Some people go their whole lives only finding 1, if they're lucky maybe 2, people that they feel they is such an exceptional match that they should be together forever. What are the chances that he finds 2 people in a year and half span? His standards (or seeming lack thereof) should alarm you.

    There's most definitely something that's screaming "sketchy!" about this guy. He isn't giving you red flags, he's giving you red BANNERS.

    Checking women out in front of you? I can understand men checking women out SUBTLY, but to make it apparent and even continue it after you've expressed that it bothers you? That's not only distasteful, it's disrespectful to your feelings. The fact that he still blatantly does it, disregarding your feelings speaks VOLUMES.

    And the fact that he couldn't tell his baby's momma about you is bullsh*t. Why would she act crazy and keep him from seeing his child over something like that? That doesn't even make sense, unless she's more than his baby's momma. Part of being someone's "baby momma" and not "girlfriend" is because you're not dating the man who contributed to your child, so why would she flip over him dating someone else? Think about it.

    I don't think this is the right guy for you. I hope you realize this, and realize that he's not the trusting, genuine man that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Best of luck!

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What Guys Said 2

  • he still loves her

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  • 1) He broke up with his fiancee 18 months ago and now he's already engaged to you? Sorry, that is very, very alarming and I would be very careful if I were you.

    2) He's being a huge a$$hole by checking every girl out in front of you. I'm not going to lie and tell you guys don't check out other girls, but there is some common courtesy and tact that he should have.

    3) He has a child with another woman? Wow. If I were you I'd really examine the relationship and how serious it is. Ask your friends/family that you know won't just tell you what you want to hear for their opinions as outsiders looking in.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's jumping into this waaay too soon. I would call off the engagement and continue to date

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