Does he deserve a second chance?

I was dating this guy a couple weeks ago and everything was going great until all of a sudden it turned around. We'd been dating for about three weeks and were already pretty serious (talks of going on vacation, we'd met each others parents etc.) and then he started to act a little shady.

He started to say he didn't receive my texts, usually when they pertained to plans or doing something together. Now I know this happens, obviously there is lag and we all haven't received messages before, but this was over a period of a couple weeks - it has never happened to me for that long before, and it was only with him.

He would seem to lie about little things that were going on, telling my mom he was going to check out an apartment when he didn't mention anything about it to me (and I would think he would mention it) or telling us his dad went in for surgery and telling my mom it was for something to do with his face and me hearing from his dad that it's for a hernia in his thigh. Saying he has pets when he really doesn't etc.

The big thing was that he would bail on me. He would tell me that he was coming over and then he just wouldn't show up. He told me he fell asleep and one time he got called into work and that he tried to text and call me, even left a voice mail, but I didn't receive any of these things. There was one time where we tentatively made plans to go visit his father, and I texted him three different times (thinking he must get one of them) asking when we were going but then turns it around on me, claiming I am not ready when he wants us to go and that we had had that time set since the day before, which I don't remember doing. He ended up leaving without me, after pretty much calling me a time waster. Afterwards he texted me (sooner than I would have thought he'd be home) and seemed jealous when I told him I was hanging out with a friend of mine.

I broke up with him (clearly.) for all of these reasons after making it quite clear that I wouldn't be walked all over and I hadn't really done anything in the relationship to warrant his behavior.

It's been two weeks and I am definitely over him, but he now wants me back. I said I would go on a date with him again (and go into the situation with the right mindset, not blind to what he has done to me) but he has barely contacted me or said anything. I am unwilling to put much forth in the relationship at the moment because I think he needs to prove to me that he is worth trusting.

What should I do? Tell him he lost his second chance? Or let him try and win me back?

Sorry it's so long! :P


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol that is long..Bless ya

    Well sometimes reasons which guys give to us may seem like excuses but sometimes we read too much into it and they are actually true. But it seems to me that he doesn't really want a serious relationship, when a guy says that his ready for one most of the time their not they just say that because they know that's what the girl wants to hear.

    I was involved with a guy and he'd say the exact same thing that he didn't receive my texts, which I found hard to believe because it only ever happened with him so it made me question it, also your mind starts playing games on you and you become paranoid about it, then he'd say that he did text me but I never got them so that made it even worse, I didn't know if it was telling the truth or if he was just lying and looking for an easy way out...You just don't know!

    I do think that's really rude that in the past his arranged to meet you and didn't show up, not even have the courtesy to let you know that's just disrespectful and not considering your feelings. However maybe once you did have some time apart he realized what he was missing out on, I'd think about it before you go rushing into forgiving him yet, leave him hanging just like he did with you and think about it, because you may be able to forgive what he did but not forget.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him to get lost! If he really CARED about you, he wouldn't keep ditching you and bailing on you! I'm a guy and I wouldn't bail or dump you. There are plenty other guys out there who are waiting to find a girl like you! Keep looking! Good luck! :)

  • It may be that his emotions are all over the place if he is having family issues but non the less he should be honest with you. If you agreed to go on another date with him and he is still ignoring you or not contacting you then I suggest getting out of this while you can before more feelings get involved and you end up getting more hurt.


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