The first thing I need to do with this breakup is try my HARDEST *NOT* to search for him. When we've broken up in the past, I'll go checking Facebook, dating sites, etc. Worse, I know a password to one of his emails and now it haunts me to go and look, but I know this is fruitless and unproductive. He was never an honest or truly decent person, he was very destructive in fact. But how do you just stop doing the "snooping"? And HOW do you forget the person and wake up happy and productive each day? If any of you knew the circumstances of this relationship you'd ask me WHY I even had a problem erasing this guy from my mind - he was a liar, deceiver, manipulator (his last EX even wrote - in a letter I happened to read - that a leopard never changes its spots. Should have taken the hint as it was SO true). I have no one to blame for my heart ache but ME. I saw MANY red flags early on but I ignored them. Stupid. I just want to move on and be happy again. I've embarrassed myself (and been embarrassed by) this relationship for long enough. Any advice would be appreciated Thank you.
Most Helpful Girl
I think "snooping" is just a natural instinct for girls! I personally feel guys aren't always 100% honest and the only way you can find that out is through snooping. The only thing is, breakups are hard. Every time you see a picture, status update, or something involving them it opens up a soft spot in your heart. No matter how bad the guy was, he was still apart of your life for quite some time, so it is hard to just let that go. The best advice I can give is to mentally let him go. During one of my break ups, I made a list of reasons why I wouldn't want to date my guy. I would continually look at that list when I missed him, so I felt better. The annoying thing is, as time goes on, you forget why you were mad or why you didn't want to date him. That's why it is good to write it down. Also, you need to fill your time with other things. I know it's hard. And I know that whatever you're doing, you wished he was doing it with you. But luckily time heals EVERYTHING! The best advice I ever got was that in a year, this won't matter. It's true...in a year you won't feel this way. Good luck with the breakup, I know it's challening...but you will realize your strength through this hard time.0