Ex is with her, but says he wants me?

I have an ex who I dated a few years ago. We parted ways due to bad timing and he got a rebound girl a few weeks after. Well he has been with her ever since. The thing is he contacts me ALL THE TIME for the past few years, he can't let "us" go yet still dates her. I've never given him the idea that I'm a back up girl because I clearly have told him I would never wait around for him nor date him while he is with her. Yet he contacts me trying to talk about us, his job, his family(something you would do with your GIRLFRIEND). What baffles me is how he could be a great actor and act like everything is okay when he is with her. He dreams about us, thinks about us, etc etc etc. Yeah it could be him lying to me but at the end of the day for what? He gains nothing out of this. He said he would leave her since he knows he would be happier with me but in my books I don't want THAT to be what brought us together. What should I do? I love him and its really sad to see that he is lying to himself and being selfish.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • who said he wasn't doing this while he was with you?

    dont get me wrong I think he's in love with you, but why if he's so sure does he still date this girl?

    why hasn't he left her and taken more interest in you...shouldnt you be telling him "shame on you for doing this to your girlfriend" he shouldn't be leading this girl on if this is how he feels, he's selfish...thats why I asked the first question...honestly tho think about that

    i think you need to tell him he needs to figure out the situation with his current girlfriend adn to take some time alone before he tells you how he really feels...this isn't fair for you and it certainly isn't fair to his current gf...think of all the stuff he's hiding from her, that he could have hidden from you...i dunnooooo I'm just sayin...

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    • On the flip side I think you should start becomming more independant, kind of cut him out of your life...its clear he misses you but does he understand why? is it a good reason why...i think you should find someone who is interested in getting to know who you are as a person, don't go looking for love tho - it will find you, if you look you won't find it...i just hope you find that guy whose willing to give you his all and stop being so immature about situations that may arrise

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What Guys Said 2

  • Once an Ex always an EX. There will always be dout, what if it does not workout AGAIN.. What if I lose the new girl completely.

    I think your ex just wants to have his CAKE and EAT IT TOO.

    If y'all Still Fucking around with each other sexually.. that's what's going on..

    He just wants to have his CAKE and EAT IT TOO. period. until you tell him.. "listen you have to choose between me and her" he will keep playing you

    Honestly I doubt you will do that be cause you love him and might just loose him indefinitely..

    but that is what needs to be done.. or he will continue playing you..

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    • We don't f*** around what so ever, the last time we hooked up was when we were together which was three years ago. Which is why I'm confused because its not as if he's gaining anything sexually from me.

  • I think he stil he loves you so much,he cnt just get you outta his mind,being a backup girl z nt so bad once you stil v feelings 4 him,.tell him what you think bout what hez doing and remind him you still v that love and feeling 4 him

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What Girls Said 2

  • This guy is not a honest person, if he still in love with you, he should break up with his girlfriend to be with you. I think the reason he didn't break up with her is becasue he's not sure he will get you back with him, at the same time he enjoy his gf''s love to him.

    He's a player, a selfish person. You cannt trust him, without trust, there is no points to get into a relationship. Say no to him next time he call you.

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  • if he wants you for real then why is he with another girl and leading her on? this boy is a player and sounds like one of those guys who likes to keep backups and girls on different rotations. lemme tell you something, if a guy has (or is trying to get 2) girls that you know of, there are likely more girls that you Don't know about!

    now I can't say that he is lying because I don't know him, but his actions are pretty shady looking. if he really loves you, give it time. let him break up with this girl and take things slowly. don't jump right back into the swing of things, take some time and evaluate his actions to see if he really is for real. good luck I wish you the best

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