I dated this guy, who I thought I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with, for 6 years. Two weeks ago, I asked him if we were okay because I'm insecure and just wanted reassurance. He broke up with me instead. But he wants to stay friends. I'm so depressed that I'm going out of my mind. I've moved into the spare bedroom for now. He says he wants to stay friends, but now he gets irritated if I even ask him how his day went or if he has any plans. My mind is still reeling from everything because I really did not see this coming 😔 the entire 6 years all we've talked about was our future together. We barely ever fought. We were even talking about planning a wedding a few months ago. I'm just so blown away. Does it actually work, to stay friends? After this long i cannot imagine life without him in it. I'm willing to try but I know he's always going to mean more than that to me. And what do I do when he meets someone? 😓 To top it off, my best friend implied there was something between him and her. And then she took it back and started bawling, saying she's a shitty person and she only said that to hurt me because she's angry at how I'm handling everything. He denies it too. He says there's nobody else and I believe him on that part because for one, he's always hated her, two, he logged into Facebook on my phone one time and now for some reason I get all of his messenger notifications and I cannot figure out how to turn them off. And three, she's always admitted to being jealous of me but I can't understand why she would try to tear me down when I'm already down 😔 I just don't know what to do at this point. I don't see an end to this pain. I've nearly attempted suicide a total of about 14 times now but I chicken out every time. He won't even tell me what I did wrong. The only reasoning he's given me is that it's not like it was in the beginning, that I deserve better, he's holding me back, and that we're just too different.
Most Helpful Guy
I can imagine how bad it sucks right now that you dated someone for 6 years of your life and it basically ended the way it did.
Unfortunately, there is no correct answer. Each person heals at their own pace.
You really really really need to get some counseling if not diagnosed by a psychiatrist. To attempt or consider consider suicide on an average of once a day is not healthy. If you can't deal with the issues at hand, you'll likely get more depressed, suicidal, make another attempt either successfully or unsuccessfully.
Between the breakup and your friend's claims, two people that you really trusted hurt you pretty bad.
To move forward, you need a strong support system to help you deal with whatever the issues may be. The only way you can really change is to know what the issues are, get the treatment you need, and be active in your treatment plan.
As to the question of whether to remain his friend or not, at this time in your life doing so will likely do more harm than good.
Take care of yourself
Most Helpful Girl
Move out, he wants you gone- then be gone don’t give him the power to watch you suffer...
Stay in and cry and write emotions down... pages and pages if everything you want to say... once written bin them...
6 years wasn’t wasted.. you can live without him like u did before you met him..
It will take months.. no lie but in 6 months you’ll learn more about yourself...
To speed process up to helping follow instructions
He wants you gone... then go,, let him live his life without you..
Delete Facebook twitter Instagram etc... IMPORTANT
Change your number.. so you ain’t checking your phone for his text or calls... get in there first
Get exercising- shape and tone up
1 month from now join a dating site- not for dates but for ego boost.. men fawning over you is a great boost to confidence because right now your ego and confidence is on the floor
1 year from now- start dating again... in 1 year (only 365 days) you’ll be more confident, better looking ( it’s amazing when U get dumped how gorgeous you become, relationships u tend to let urself go)
Mark the date on a calendar.. about looking forward and not back...
Don’t call him during that time- he will contact you, if he does you can tell him to piss off..
You will get happy again