What's your experience of going through parents' divorce?

My parents want to divorce and tol me and my sister that we'll be living with my grandparents and give for adoptions our beloved dogs. I haven't stopped crying because it's hard to see two people that loved each other separate affecting their daughters and dogs too. When we got our dogs they said we were going to keep them and never let them go, but now? the fu**? ugh


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hi. First off, I'm sorry for what you, your sister, and your dog has to go through with your parent's divorce. I'm sure it's not easy to course through this situation, and I want to tell you something, "It's not you, nor your sister's, nor your dog's fault that they are deciding to split up." It may seem like it and you'll question yourself by asking, "Have we done something wrong?" "What could I have done to make them happy?" "Do they not love me/us?" "Why are they betraying our family?" when you're feeling down and out, but most of the time, that's not the case. I'm sure that you and your sister love your parents very dearly and them to you two as well. But this is their adult problem and their decision on the matter. Know that they Love you.

    My parent's got divorced when I was in Jr. High, though it didn't hit me as hard as your situation, I knew it was going to come sooner or later. They were just arguing all the time, finances were very short, and they weren't feeling it anymore. I understood because I had to grow up fast in my family environment. But I knew that it wasn't because of us kids in the house. They still love us, as we just live on with our lives. Don't let it get to you too much. IT's a shocker, but it'll pass once you understand their relationship dynamic.

    Like any relationship that goes through a break up, there are a vast myriad numbers of reasons why it didn't work. If you really want to have some closure on your parent's divorce, I would suggest to you to have a open communication talk with the both of them at the same time. Or separate - depending on your relationship dynamic with each of them. But when you do, you have to keep your emotions stable because if you start getting heated, or throw a tantrum, or ball your eyes out in front of them, it's not going to be the conversation that you would like it to be and it'll make it even more comfortable for them. It'll suck, but you have to be strong for them as well. I'm sure they are going through their own mess to filter things through. Be the listener to understand, not the talker who puts in opinions to be understood as this'll be selfish on your part. Add in what you want after you understand everything. It'll be hard to be selfless and listen, but it's the right thing to do. "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." After that, you do what you can to move on, for both you and your sister. I hope my perspective can shed some light. =)

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    • One more thing:

      Stay strong because this will be some rocky times for you and your family. Know that their divorce does not define you who you are. You define yourself who you are: an awesome and fantastic young lady who will now be on the start of your life journey to become a person who your parents and sister will be proud of. I may have come from a divorce family, but I choose to go and grow myself to be the best version of myself. It sounds easy, but it'll be a rough journey ahead of you. To reiterate in a different way, your past doesn't define you, your actions to build your yourself and your future does. The only way the past will define you is if you stay in the past and don't move forward in life. Create your own personal development plan for growth: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When you do, everything in the universe will lead you to a life where you can be at peace about this. If you need help, let me know. You GOT This. You are STRONGER than you think. =)

    • THANKYOU!!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • My parents were divorced when I was about 5.
    I don't in what way has it affected me but I still have amazing parents even though they are not together.
    My mother remarried a few years ago (11 years ago) and I have a half-sister. She's one of the most important people in my life.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • I'm sorry for your circumstances. Your parents are behaving badly. Be thankful you have grandparents who are there for you.

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    • I don't have anyomore... oh well, at least I got friends... wait I don't haha

  • My parents divorced it was sad but it was for the best in the end.
    Sorry for your misfortune with your parents divorcing wish better
    days to come your way.

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  • my parents are not divorced by they haven't been okey with each other since the day i can remember, i wouldn't feel bad for their divorce.

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  • Just usual, my parents were devorced about a year ago. Nothing change much.

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  • My folks split when i was too young so i just saw the aftermath of it but should be able to keep the dogs

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  • My parents divorce, and it affected me. I'm sad to say that my ex-wife divorce me and my daughter is living through it now. However it's different with my daughter. We explain it to my daughter that she will be willing with mom and she will be visiting daddy. My daughter call, face-time and text me anytime she want. Myself and her mother agree that no matter how we feel about each other we do not get her involve. I want my daughter to always know that her mother and myself love her no matter what. She knows that. When she visit me, I make sure she call her mother every morning and every night and tell her mother that she loves her. Over time me and my-wife notice that we became friends all over again and it's thanks to our daughter. Her mother is my best friends and I am her's. She can call me about any and everything outside of out daughter. Sometimes people just have to grow apart to grow up better by themselves. The one think I don't understand is the living with your grandparents.

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  • My parents divorced when I was 2 or 3 years old. Coming from a broken home sucks.

    I never had a father nor mother.

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  • I think. The child shouldn't be the reason for parents to not to take divorce.

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  • Poor dogs

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  • Beatings

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What Girls Said 15

  • yeah doing that to the dogs is so not okay. Try to find a way to keep them with you! Maybe talk to your grandparents?

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    • Sadly I don't have grandparents anymore, but I'm trying to figure out if I moved house and see if they can accept them there

    • Thankyou though

  • I grew up with parents who are, for the most part, happy. They had 1 separation when I was like 4. I didn't think anything of it except I got to stay in Japan for about a month. To this day I don't really know what they separated for, but I think it had to do with his ex wife (my brother's mom)

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  • Wish they had done it 10 years earlier and found the happiness they deserved earlier, instead of trying to stick it out for the kids. Everyone woulda been happier in the long term, especially the kids.

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  • My parents were never married, but were separated for quite some time.

    I think after a while you get used to it. If both parents are still going to be in your life, thats great. If not, its only gonna make you stronger.

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  • I am extremely sorry see if your friend can take your dogs so hopefully they understand what u r going through

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  • It’s really hard :( for me I found it more hard that my mom started dating guys again

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  • Divorce is overrated. It's not really affect kids if both parents still see them and take care of them. But I feel sorry for dogs

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  • Why would they not live with one of your parents? Is it temporary till they get settled?

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  • You can guilt trip them into letting you keep the dogs

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  • That sucks. I had to give up my dogs too.

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  • I’m really sorry, that’s awful.

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  • My mum and dad divorced when I was 3.

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  • My parents never got divorced

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  • I don't know bc my parents are good people

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  • You should talk to your parents about how you are feeling. It is hard going through that transition, and I’m sorry you have to deal with all of that... Take it one day at a time and try to keep things as normal as possible (keep up your daily routine as much as you can). If you are afraid to tell your parents about how you are feeling, try talking to another trusted adult and see if they have any advice

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