Any advice on what I should do about my position?

So about a week ago I sent my (boyfriend?) A break up message on Snapchat and I then unfriended him from Snapchat. About a day or two later he messaged me upset about it. And the next day he told me why he was upset. I didn't tell him that I wanted to break up nor try and be talk to him about how I was feeling because I'm scared of what reactions people have to what I say. It's been about a week now and I lost a friend because I was teasing her about liking a boy I know she doesn't like. And during those days I was starting to miss my boyfriend (ex, idk). The reason why I wanted to break up was because my relationship with him was toxic plus when he gets busy we don't talk for weeks and I don't get an explanation of why. I had felt heartbroken when he had messaged me. I don't know what to do. Any advice?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You felt heartbroken because your sense of empathy. You didn't tell him before and you knew, consciously or subconsciously, that it would blindside him when you did it via Snapchat. So when you were confronted with the repercussions of that, you felt bad for him. That combined with the fact that it's easier to go back to a broken relationship than to try to find a new one and build from scratch makes it seem really enticing. But if you decided that it was better to move on, stick to that decision. Be responsible for your actions, and if you don't like the way your actions make you feel, reflect on why that is.

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    • Honestly all I want is to start over. I never spoke up. I don't like having to argue so I just kept my mouth shut. The relationship wasn't broken. My relationship with him was started on an awkward foot and I think that is what caused it to end out toxic along with a few other things that happened in that relationship.

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    • This no longer makes sense to me. Your entire description of your relationship has been negative, but you were not unhappy with it? Now it seems like you're looking for people to tell you to go back to relationship. I think you need to sit down and figure out what you look for from a relationship before you try to approach this or any other relationship. Once you know what you're trying to get, you'll be able to understand what it is that you want to do. We can't tell you not to be sad, nor can we figure out how you view your own relationship for you. If you are happy with something toxic, go for it. If you just want a reset, you don't have to end your relationship. That doesn't even make sense. Especially if leaving him makes you feel bad. So you now have my two in depth answers for that. Go get em champ. I guess?

    • For an analogy, you have basically described licking a cactus, and then deciding to stop licking the cactus. But the cactus got sad and asked why you stopped, so you felt bad and asked us a vague question. Then when I said licking the cactus made you unhappy, you said you weren't unhappy licking the cactus. You just wanted to fix your tongue so you could start licking the cactus again. If you want to lick a cactus, that's your decision. Just let the cactus know what you expect of it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't interact with him. Find new friends and meet new people.
    If the relationship was toxic, u going back to him will do u no good. After several months u will be break up again and that's a crazy waste of emotions.. And time

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What Guys Said 5

  • I realise you are scared of confrontation. It's normal but it wasn't a nice thing to break up on social media. You want attention which is normal for a woman. If you say weeks doesn't he check up on you? If you still love him. Then you need to grow up both relationship and socially. When someone says I don't like something you stop.

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  • I'm sorry but breaking up with someone on text is really, really nasty.

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    • I know that but that's not the point.

  • Wow... you seem like a really wishy-washy person. I think you should probably step away from your ex, and then figure out whether or not you want to be in a relationship. Sleep on it, and then do whatever you come up with.

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    • I am trying that. But I don't see any help with it. For the past few days I've been thinking about messaging him to try and work out what is best for both of us.

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    • Because that's how I am sometimes.

    • But you already know it isn't going to work... It's a waste of your time.

  • Stay strong and stay away from him, it'll take some time, so distract yourself by doing things you like

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  • If u want to breakup then breakup. It will be good for both of u, If u decide and act as early as you can.

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