My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me two days ago due to now not being a good time for us to be together and because we have recently been toxic for each other. The bad part is that we still love each other a lot but we know it's something that needed to happen. He mostly did the breaking up because I triggered it that night but we still talked for a bit afterwards and decided we would still chat here and there and be civil since we couldn't cut each other off cold turkey. He said he wanted a week to make sure it was the right decision. Well, he has done some things that really took me for granted and today I realized I deserve better so after a few texts with him this morning, I decided to do "no contact" with him. It was something I was never good at. Basically I can't contact him or respond to him no matter what. Throughout our entire relationship, I was always the one to initiate conversations and I would always text back right away. This time, I put my foot down and stopped texting him. 4 hours later, I get a text from him just telling me random things. I ignored. 2 hours later, he sends another text asking what I have been up to, I ignored again. Then 2 hours after that, he texts me telling me he hopes I'm alright. Then another hour later, he texts me telling me that he has been getting worried about me not responding and wants me to respond just to make sure I'm safe. He never bothered to call though. I feel like if he truly cared and thought I was in danger, he would have called right? But he didn't. So I have a feeling that him telling me he wanted to make sure I was ok is just a trap to get me to respond to him.. right? Should I text him and tell him I'm ok or should I just continue to ignore him?
Most Helpful Guy
The no contact thing is good to do as it really gives you both time to assess the situation and see how it feels to no longer be together. However I would suggest discussing/agreeing it first.
About the are you ok, it could be one of two things, he either doesn't care very much OR he's respecting your space and allowing you to not respond. Calling you might be in his mind a step too far which might push you away.
I can only say so based on my personality that if someone doesn't communicate back to me, I try a couple of times times and then I sit back and wait, not at all because I don't care but because I don't want to be a nuisance and maybe it's not the right time for them to reply. I'm not saying that what I do is right and I'd even say it's sometimes wrong, but it's what I do...
.. Ultimately I think it all comes down to communication, being on the same page is the most important thing and that can only be achieved by talking.
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Most Helpful Girl
Explain to him what you're doing, it's not fair on him if you've both agreed to keep in contact to then suddenly go against that. Just say you've been thinking and have decided to do the no contact rule to reflect on a few things. He'll then text back blah blah but then you can start ignoring him. Otherwise he's just going to be continually messaging you, not giving you a chance to think or experience life without him0