Who out there has been in the situation where you ended a relationship and ended up in a really low place? To the point where you gained weight...anywhere from 10 pounds and up. Did you ever end up running into your ex? And, have you recovered, have you lost the weight? How'd you finally get yourself out of that stage?
I've stopped caring...I'm not working out, I don't have the energy, and the only motivating factor is the fear that I'd see my ex and I'd look like sh*t. And, as much as we'd all like to pretend that it wouldn't matter...come on, you know it would.
Most Helpful Girl
I have been in exactly this situation. But I actually gained weight (about 20 pounds) towards the end of the relationship as I was so unhappy. After I ended it (I had to for several good reasons) I went into a deep depression not wanting to talk to anyone or go anywhere- I looked like total sh*t! My motivtion to look better was not so much my ex but because I realized tht I was caught in a catch 22 I looked like crap because I felt like crap, but I felt like crap every time I saw what I had become. So this and the fact that like you, I did not want my ex to have the satifaction of thinking I did him a favour by breking up with him is what led me to try and get fit in body AND mind again.
so I'll tell you what I did and maybe some of that will be helpful to you.
1.the first thing you need to do before worrying about your weight is start to change the way you are feeliing to get out of that low place.
You MUST get out and about even though you may not feel like it as it is very easy at this stage to become a hermit. Also being around happy, positive people will lift your spirits and in 'pretending' to feel OK will start to find that little by little, you actually do.
2. take up a new hobby/activity. I started volunteering for St johns ambulance which gave me a new skill, new friends and something to do to stop me from thinking about my ex, my weight and any other negative stuff. I also started learning to dance- which brings me to -
3. Do something high energy that will burn calories without you even realising it like dancing. Again you will meet some really nice people so will make new friends that have nothing to with your ex. In doing this I lost 10 pounds in the first 2 months and met a few hot guys (not relationship material but the attention was still nice) which helped my confidence no end.
4. Now you are ready for the gym or whatever you want to do to lose the weight, I hate the gym so I went cycling. I now lost all the weight I gained plus lost an extra 10 pounds!
So when you see your ex not only will you look hot! but he will see that you are HAPPY without him because you have new friends, new hobbies, a new body- basically a new life that is all the better for him not being in it!
The main thing to remember is that you will feel like sh*t for a while, its inevitable, and its OK to feel like that but you are going to have to dig yourself out of that low place as hard as it is because you have to show him that you are not going to fall appart with out him!
Add me as a friend and I can give you more specific advice as I know where you are coming from.