I know everyone goes through a breakup. Perhaps it's like a rite of passage. but that still doesn't make me feel any better.
To keep it short, I got hurt. Mixed signals. Fake relationship. So I cut it off. no closure. nothing was ever clear.
I fell in love for the first time. I know he was really into me at one point. But it amounted to nothing. Nothing about it mattered. I could've hallucinated the whole thing. Same difference. No kiss. No long hugs. Nothing but pain. All my dreams of a first love dashed.
It hurts the most at night. I've tried breathing to stop the pain and memories, like remembering him flirting with another girl knowing I was watching. How do you guys cope at night? It's been almost two months and it's still painful.
Now, I seem to get infatuated easily and I just get disgusted at myself cause I wasn't like that before. I was a lot more independent and happy and carefree and smiley. now I just crumple up at night.
Most Helpful Guy
You gotta look at the bright side of your current life and the negative side of your past life. I was pretty much in the same situation and just broke up last friday. I put 2 years of loving and caring in, only to be told that she "never had any feelings for me", despite how she sometimes acted.
The trick is not to overthink things. The more you think about how this relationship was going so good, just to fall off the edge of a cliff, the more you're gonna be depressed about it. Think about how horrible it was and how much better you are now that you are free to find a guy who fits your needs. Think about how much more time you now have to go pursue your interests, whether they be a hobby or whatever.
At night, well the night is definitely the hardest part (I slept < 8 hours in the first 4 days after I broke up with her). You have to occupy your time and your thoughts. There's nothing that's going to make the bad thoughts go away easily. You need to tackle to unresolved issues one by one, and you need to keep going over them in your head so many times that you automatically start shuffling the bad thoughts out. If you get a thought like "I really wanted my first love to be my last", you must immediately crush that with "I would much rather have a second love than a first love that is a jerk". Say it over and over until it blends together. Then the thought will pop into your head as "I really wanted my first love to be my last, but I would much rather have a second love than a first love that is a jerk." and eventually that will turn into just "I want to have a second love that is much better than that jerk".
Also, I sometimes find that you have to shock your mind into doing what you want. If your mind is entertaining thoughts about getting back together or getting in contact, force yourself to think about something that he did. I recall that mental image of her leading a guy into her room at 1am, the day that I broke up with her. That will quickly tell your mind that it belongs to you, not vice versa.1