I'll sum up what happened: We started fighting a lot (to the point of him crying, I kept picking fights with him), he asked for a break.
Yesterday, he and two friends came over to celebrate one of my friends' birthday. In the beginning it was awkward, but pretty soon, after a week of coldness, he put his arms around me again, kissed me, and told me I looked beautiful. Before he left we sat on my bed and he apologized for everything, and I apologized. I was SO happy we were made up.
Halfway down the stairs, he goes: I'm so glad we can be friends.
No. Wait. What? WHAT?
Me: so...you basically led me on tonight?
Him: I didn't mean to, but I still think we need time apart from each other
I asked him if he was serious and if there were any girls involved, etc, etc. No, apparently.
I went to my room and cried, my friends came to comfort me and told me to call him and tell him it's either "yes" or "no". I did so, and he said "Lili, I still like you, but I want to wait this out, we keep fighting every day and we both need time to change before we can be together again. We've always tried to make up but it's never worked, it's the same cycle".
I told him that I CAN change, and to just take me back now, but all he could say was "It doesn't work that way, we need some time apart". In addition, I asked "Are we taking this break to work on our relationship?" and he said "I don't know, maybe".
In the end, I said "Look, it's either be with me NOW or not" and he said "Then maybe it's best we separated...not that that's what I want but if we can't have a break then sorry".
I politely said "okay" and hung up. He didn't sound extremely happy about it, but he seemed content enough, because through text I asked him "are you sure this is the right thing to do?" and he said "I really think it is" and I asked him if he's okay with me seeing other people and he said "Whatever makes you happy".
I don't understand what happened at all, we were holding each other again and the night ended on THIS note...what went wrong?
Most Helpful Guy
First off, he's crying and you continued to pick fights with him. I wouldn't want you back either. You girls need to quit it with the head games and the "chase". You sound like the problem in the relationship, not him. He doesn't like it when you create fights, and you took his gesture of kindness totally wrong as well. He was being a gentleman and told you that you looked nice that evening. No one wants to be in a relationship where they fight over and over. No one wants to play the games either. I will never for the life of me understand why when you ladies have something good, you create drama and fights. It pushes us away. You think you can change, but once everything gets comfortable again, you will go back to your old ways. An ultimatum on now or never didn't help either. Honestly you sound immature and I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you. If you did love and care about him, and he asked for space- give it to him. Pressuring him into getting back together with you isn't the way to go. Make a mental note too, STOP PLAYING GAMES.0