Should I tell her how big of an ass this guy is?

He taped them having sex (she doesn't know) several times and has been showing a bunch of people. He cheats on her frequently and is just an all around ass. We don't really get along very well but I still think someone should tell her obviously no one else is going to. I doubt she would believe me but at least I wouldn't feel guilty for not saying anything.

  • Tell her
    Vote A
  • Don't
    Vote B
  • See answers
    Vote C
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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're probably right that she won't believe you.

    When I was in high school, a guy I dated taped us and showed it to the entire football team and baseball team (one of which my brother was included). It was the most humiliating thing, but one of my friends had warned me. . .

    I also have a friend who doesn't think her husband cheats on her, yet he's given her an STD and he's even asked me (she's supermodel material) to sleep with him. . .guys are scum, but you really should try to tell her. . .she probably won't believe you, but when you tell her, make sure to also tell her how you care about her wellbeing & how much you care about your friendship with her. . .that you care about her. Adding that bit of info to the pathetic reality of how her boyfriend's treating her will help her realize it and let it sink in. . .

    This worked when I was to stubborn to listen to my best friend. . .I hated her for a week, but after her words swirled in my head a few nights, I woke up one morning and I knew she'd never hurt me or tell me something for no reason. . .She was right and I have never doubted her since.

    You're her friend. . .if she knows that you're truly her friend, (or if it takes her a week to realize it), then she'll believe you. . .

    Good luck.

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What Girls Said 5

  • if you aren't part of the solution you are part of the problem. the more people who know about this and the more people who see it are only laughing at her. no matter how many people know its wrong and think its a crappy thing to do! doesn't mean that she's not going to feel like a big a**. tell her. its not right to not.

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  • I think you should tell her. She needs to see this guy for the idiot he really is. Even if she refuses to believe what you are saying to her there is going to be part of it that will stick in the back of her mind. She's probably going to be furious at first so it will take some time for it to really sink in, but at least you can know you did the right thing. She will get over being mad and once she discovers the truth for herself - and she will find out because eventually everything comes out in the wash, and will then thank you for telling her about it. That guy is a real ass!

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  • no really what do you think you should do I mean not to sound harsh but buddy you have got to tell her even if she won't believe you like you said at least you won't feel guilty!

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  • I say you tell her she needs to know and even if she doesn't believe you at least you told her and whenever she finds out she might come to you for comforting!

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    • Thanks. She won't come to me we are civil towards each other but that's about it.

  • What's your motive for telling her? Since you don't have a good relationship with her anyway, she probably won't believe you. If she confronts the BF, he will deny it of course and you are the one that will end up looking like an ass. Stay out of it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Probably not your business. But if you feel compelled be sure your facts are 100% accurate. Hearing about this stuff from others is one thing. Absolute certainty is something else. And if you need to tell her, you need certainty.

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    • Not a doubt. The only reason I'm even considering saying anything now is he asked her to marry him. I would rather stay way away from this. Thanks

  • As a friend you should tell her. It is better a friend tells her the truth before she gets hurt.

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  • Leave it alone - speaking from experience you aren't going to be "the one" that enlightens her to everything; odds are others have told her and she doesn't care for whatever reason.

    If you absolutely, positively HAVE to say something to clear your conscience do so but otherwise let her be with him. Odds are they deserve each other.

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    • Look, you say that you and her are on "speaking terms" but that's about it. Even if her best friend in the whole world came up to her and told her she would chew on it for weeks before making a decision. The only reason to tell her is to clear YOUR conscience - if you want to, do so but otherwise the hell with it. Think about it - if the guy is as big of an ass as you say he is TONS of people have told her before and she's still with him. They deserve each other, stay out of it.

    • Thats exactly why I haven't done it, we have know each other for about 15 years, just don't get along. I should have put this in the question above but instead of telling her I may just give her the damn camera he has left it at my place so she would find it. I'll just hand it to her and walk away. I'm pretty much sick of both of them. Thanks

    • I understand. Like I said if you have to tell her to clear your own conscience do it but to be honest the healthiest you can do is just to say the hell with both of them. They are letting their BS into your life and that's not right.

      I'll repeat this to make sure that you hear me; they deserve one another.

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