Boyfriend cheated 'one time'?

I found out my boyfriend cheated on me about 2 months ago. I decided to stay with him, but now I don't know if I can trust him. I think about what he did EVERY SINGLE DAY. When I found out he begged me not to leave him, he cried and said he made a mistake and that I was the best thing in his life and one day he wanted to marry me. Was this just bullsh*t to make me stay with him? I don't know what to do. I want to let it go, but I can't stop thinking about how he betrayed me. How do I let it go? Is there really truth behind once a cheater always a cheater? Did I make a mistake by not breaking up with him? I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I love him so much. I really feel like it's tearing our relationship apart even more that I'm always questioning him and finding a hard time trusting him. I never questioned anything before. Now I'm paranoid. He said it was because he could see himself with me for a really long time and felt like he had to get it out of his system - the girl made a move on him first. Whatever. He still went along with it. WHAT DO I DO?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • how did you find out? did he confess to you out of guilt or did you find out from a 3rd party? if he did not come to you and fess up himself then you cannot trust him and you really have no way of knowing he only cheated 1 time. that may have been the 1 time he got caught, but how shady is that because if you didn't find out he never would have said anything or begged and cried. if you can't get over it, I suggest breaking up with him. if things are meant to be you'll get back together later on (I don't suggest that) but right now you need to (a) be single and (b) punish him. yes you have to punish him! if you stay with a guy that cheated on you that's like accepting what he did. sorry but he needs some real consequences. he needs to see what it will really be like to not have the best thing in his life because if he cheats he should know he could have lost that. if a guy thinks you will never break up with him no matter what he does he won't respect you because he'll think you'll always be there if he apologizes enough.

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    • I found out because he was acting weird so I went through his phone. before I found out he had this conversation w me where he said HE didn't trust himself. and he didn't want to hurt me. and sometimes things just 'fall into your lap'. but he said he didn't cheat on me. come to find out, that whole conversation was because he actually did cheat on me and felt guilty about it. he had his chance to tell me and he didn't. I'm learning how to trust him again. I just don't want to resent him. I want to let it go.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Once a cheater...

    Honestly, I could never ever cheat on a girl I'm dating. The only thing here, is your decision. If you want to stay with him, you're going to have to learn to trust him again. Or, you could find someone new, someone who keeps his zipper zipped.

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    • Zipper zipped .. not funny. I'm looking for actual advice. not jokes

    • Don't let humor be lost. I gave you serious advice. My attempt at humor is to avoid the gravity of the situation slightly. If you want to be with him, you must learn to forgive him and trust him again. It's as simple as that. If you cannot, you'll then have to learn to start over.

    • How do you learn to forgive someone? It's hard.

  • If you let him get away with it he will keep doing it, just get more sneeky about it...

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