It's been almost 10 months since she left me. Was a pretty terrible break-up. She betrayed me. Had a new boyfriend almost instantly. I have not had any contact with her for almost 4 months now. I don't reply to her emails. But I cannot get her out of my head. What is so weird, is that if and when I check her facebook profile, I'm more interested in her new boyfriend (not in a gay sense). I'm not even interested in her, just the person she deemed better than me. This suggests what I'm experiencing is more about rejection than missing her, although I do miss her. We were together four years. She went abroad to study. Broke up with me while away, and I've never see her again. She is coming home soon for a short visit, if she contacts me should I ignore her?
Most Helpful Girl
I have recently gone through the exact same thing (but I'm a girl). Dumped after a serious relationship, he has a new girlfriend "the one" 2 1/2 months later, and the hole checking/comparing on Facebook. So I completely understand how you feel.
If you are struggling to get over her and you know it, it would probably be best to stay away from her. Ask yourself "At this point, what could seeing her/talking to her possibly do to help the situation?"
It's really really difficult NOT to get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to the new boyfriend, but remember this: You were exactly who you are when you started dating (of course we grow, but I mean at the core) and that was enough for her (or anyone) to want to date you. So you are still you and still worthy of being wanted for the relationship. She didn't pick this guy because she deemed him "better" than you-she deemed him better for HER. And maybe it was a totally selfish and self-centered call of her to make, but that was her decision and it doesn't mean your stock suddenly dropped :) You are still you, and there is someone out there who won't trade you like a baseball card just because they get bored or whatever. This is on her-she made the decision and unfortunately you feel like you are stuck with the consequences of HER but you're NOT. I won't say she doesn't deserve you because she's some terrible person, but she doesn't deserve you because she willingly gave you up and that means she has given up the right to have any hold or sway over you.
And if you find yourself comparing to the new boyfriend or even to your ex, just redirect the comparing. Never ever change for someone else, but if the break up has made you notice things that YOU want to change for YOU - then hop to it! And seriously, stay off of her FB page- Facebook isn't even real-it's just the sunniest side of the street. No one is ever going to post a pick of their new sig other first thing in the morning before they've showered. Just don't even go there.3