Breaking up, second chances, spending time apart.. help!

So, my ex and I were together for a year, and like most relationships we had some amazing times but also a lot of drama. Recently it took a turn for the worst, and the majority of it was because I was getting insecure and needy/bossy and did not treat him very well even though I knew I was pushing him away. Yesterday he finally ended it with me, and after a long talk I apologized for the way I've been acting and asked for another chance.

His response is that he wants to spend a few weeks apart with limited contact to "evaluate what we mean to each other" and "clear our heads." He was very clear that he still loves me and also said he'd be faithful during this time, but said he needs to to be away from me to think about everything.

I've always thought that "taking time apart" is actually a breakup in disguise, but what are the chances he will want to reconcile and try again? Do guys usually think more positively about a girl after some time apart, or do they remember the bad memories more clearly than the good ones?

I want to trust him that he wouldn't just tell me he wants time alone if he really means to dump me and stop speaking to me, but am I foolish for thinking that?


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  • Firstly, I'm sorry that you guys have broken up for now and I hope that you're ok.

    I was in a similar situation to yourself a while back, we took a little time out and same as you guys we were faithful during this time, we didn't date other people, that was the deal and we didn't have contact at all. We were apart for about 3 weeks and during this time we both realized just how much we mean to each other, I missed him like hell and I was used to doing everything with him so everything seemed kind of empty. He felt the same, he was the one who suggested the break. Anyways he called me and asked if we could go out on a date which we hadn't really done in quite a while, we used to go out to dinner etc but it was exactly like a date like when we first got together. At this stage we had been together for about 1.5 years.

    Anyways we met for dinner and we talked things through and we both said that we love each other and that the time apart made us realize just how much happiness and love we bring to each other and that we did want to make it work.

    Don't get me wrong, we still have arguments and we still get mad at each other sometimes but we know that we want to be together and we know that its worth fighting for it and now we've been together for 27 months :)

    So don't stress yourself out too much, give him space and have some space to yourself, go out with your girl friends, pamper yourself and if he hasn't contacted you in about 3-4 weeks then drop him a line just to see how he is and if he's ready to talk :)

    I hope this helps.

    xoxox

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