Why did my ex cheat? Will he regret what he did and miss me?

I found out through snooping (wrong i know). He told me “i tried to cheat (even though he did ACTUALLY cheat by sexting another girl and trying to meet up with her). He told me he was miserable and unhappy being with me at times, but didn’t want to end the relationship because he wasn’t always miserable.

Which makes me feel really badly inside. On top of it, he didn’t really seem to have any empathy for me, and tried to blame me for snooping and for making him miserable because i was insecure and jealous - which i actually had a right to be jealous about after i found out everything.

It makes me feel so bad inside. I feel embarrassed he cheated on me with a girl i had suspicions about, he lied to me straight to my face when i brought up my concerns. And then he just disappeared and ended it when i found out.

I know i am not perfect and maybe i did make his life harder by worrying about everything he was doing (something I’ll never do with a boyfriend again. I’m done getting jealous and worrying), but, i felt i did a lot for my boyfriend, and that i was a kind person and kind to him and others. And it breaks my heart, because I’ve had chances and I've been so mad where I’ve felt like just cheating. But, it hurt my heart to even imagine cheating on someone.

I feel so broken and find myself missing my ex a lot :/ i am going out with friends and meeting guys (not to date, just to meet people), and they treat me so kindly, and all. But, they aren’t my ex. We were together 1.5 years.
Why did my ex cheat? Will he regret what he did and miss me?
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