Breaking Guy Code or Not?

I have a close friend who has been dating this girl for about six years now. He has cheated on her in the past, and she has found out, remained in the relationship with him. Recently, I have found out he's doing it yet again, and she's ignorant of it. Worst of all, he's cheating on a girl who sells her body on the side. His girlfriend and I are close. I regard her as a best friend. Now, I know breaking the guy code here is wrong. I have known him since childhood. But still, she's a friend of mine who I care for immensely.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your friend plans to rob the bank/rape a girl, what would you do?

    Obviously, 1. Stop him from doing that, by persuasion

    2. If that doesn't work, what then? Do you call the police and betray him?

    The trick here is the word betray; meaning dishonesty, doing things behind someone's back. There is only one way here --- be honest. Tell your friend, "Lest you think I betray you behind your back. I am telling you right now, I am going to call the police if you insist on doing XYZ. I am willing to sacrifice our friendship. Anyway, why would I befriend a robber/rapist?" In other words, what is there to lose?

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What Girls Said 6

  • Sure there is bro code, but there is also man code. and Men don't let their female friends get STDs from some douche who's banging hookers on the side.

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  • Tell her. She deserves that. Your buddy needs a kick in the ass. I agree with the answerer below. What if she caught something? I knew a girl cheating on my best friend..I told him, depspite how hard it is. It may ruin your friendship, but he needs to be knocked down a couple of notches. Usually I would say it's not your business..I wanted to tell my best friend's beau she has been sleeping with his brother..but it's not my buisness and I regreted it. Because she is still doing it and he is oblivious. Think of it this way..if you were dating his sister or best friend and you were the one cheating...would he tell her? Most likely not if he does it..but in all honesty..protect your friend, especially if you care for her..more then a friend I'm guessing. She deserves to know what she's saving herself for and who she's really with. Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me:) Best of Luck my friend!

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  • you need to tell her! and what's with the bro code!? I hate the f***king bro code! p*sses me off! if she means a lot to her then you tell her would you rather her find out and then find out that you knew? or would you tell her and save her from all that crap her asshole of a boyfriend is doing? she's a friend of yours right? a friend is there for her at all times, f***k the bro code up the ass and tell her, if you don't she won't be very happy when she finds that you know!

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    • Yes, but I have a feeling she would remain with him like she has in the past instances. I would be thrown out of my social circle.

    • Then you need real friends!!!! and the thing about her staying with the d*ck tell her the truth, tell her that he is sleeping with that girl, cause seriously she can do so much better!!

  • Dude I respect the bro code and normally I would say that you should do right by whoever you're more loyal to but her health is at risk. If she caught something off him and you'd never said a thing you would feel like sh*t every time you saw her.

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  • TELL HER! I was in a dead end 7 year cheating fest. Same deal. All of his friends knew and no one would own up and get the balls to tell me. They were all about guy code. Finally one of his friends let it slip at a bbq and told me the truth. The girl is in denial like I was and it will take someone she trusts that knows him to make her break this cycle. What he's doing is ABUSE. Don't let him use her and ruiin her for other relationships. If you care about her, tell her. Obviously your friend has no trouble finding other girls. Let him be that single guy and save the girls poor heart and time.

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  • wrong is wrong. if you don't want him to know it was you, I suggest either writing her an anonymous letter, or setting up a dummy facebook account and telling her there. She deserves to know because what if he gave her a disease or something? wouldn't you want to know? what if you were dating a girl and her best friend knew she was cheating? it is the right thing to do even though its really unpleasant

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What Guys Said 5

  • if she's your friend then she is part of guy code because friends look out for eachother

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  • Dude screw bro code in this case she needs to know

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  • He's a lousy boyfriend and a friend if he expects you to keep that to yourself, don't let him keep using her. BTW I would have probably beat him up already...

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  • ive had sex with more women then I kissed. kissing is very personal

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  • Tell him that you know what he is doing and if he doesn't stop and tell her, you will. Just because we have a bro code doesn't mean you should let him continue doing something wrong.

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