I broke my NC with my ex. Is there still a chance he will contact me again?

So I decided over 2 weeks ago to completely end all contact with my ex boyfriend for at least 30 days because I was always initiating contact. I wanted to respect his space. I finally accepted the break-up and wanted to begin healing. Well, I had seen his work van around town over the past couple of days (I hadn't seen it in almost a month). That kept me thinking of him and missing him, a bit more. So I had a sudden urge to just text Hi =). I Had no expectations that he would respond, but after a couple of hours of no response, I felt like I failed. After being used to contacting him, then working hard to stop, and doing well for 2 weeks, I slipped. I'm wondering what he thought of that random text. I do hope that I hear from him again. He broke up with me, but we never fought and there were no burned bridges. His roommates' girlfriend is my friend and she said he isn't seeing anyone. It would be nice to know if there's a chance he will come around and contact me again.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey there. First of all- I'm sorry you're going through this now, I've been going through the same thing. RIGHT, so you feel like you failed you did better than I did before hand. We'd agreed on no contact for a month and within a week I sent him a text saying 'I miss you :('- he didn't reply...it sucked immensly. Anyway I went back to no contact after that- although I felt completely pathetic and a fool and a week before we were meant to contact each other- boom. He texted me. Nothing much, just to say that 'I hope you're doing OK and your exams are treating you decently. Hope to hear from you soon. X'- so never fear, he almost certainly WILL contact you again.

    However, I must stress that if you do get together again it may not happen instantly again. It's been 3 months since we ended no contact and he's only now seeming to come around to the idea that not giving us another go was a mistake. Since we ended contact HE is the one who has contacted me and you should to some degree do the same thing, it puts you bck in a position of power and you don't feel so desperate (I know from experience). It will be very painful, I won't lie- when we go a week or two with no contact I go almost insane with wanting to contact him but like I said- it seems to be producing the desired effect. For most men, they won't necessarily fight for something unless they think that they are losing you for good- they don't want that.

    Anyhoo. Try and stick out the next few weeks, he probably will contact you and if at the end of the no contact he hasn't there are no laws saying that you can't just drop him a line saying 'Hye, how're you doing?'

    Best of luck!

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    • Hi..thanks for your comment. I know I'm probably being too hard on myself, but I want so much just to hold my own and keep MY power. I know deep down I was going to fumble. But it was a one word text, basically letting him know that he is still on my mind. His birthday is on the 19th and I plan on calling him to wish him a happy birthday. That will be my only contact with him. Until then, I'll stay quiet ;-)

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What Guys Said 4

  • i am in the same situation now with my ex. as much as I want to contact her, I know it will not help me one bit. she broke up with me, as your ex broke up with u. you need to give him space to miss you. I know its hard and it is killing me too. but if this is what you have to do to get them back then so be it. you need to move on and pick yourself up. he will soon hate seeing you having fun again and you need to be the one who has that power over him. don't feed his ego by texting etc. keep at it. if its ment to be it will work out fine :)

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    • Thank you. I know it was a vulnerable moment. Thing is, I'm friends with his roommates girlfriend and his brother and close friend like me a lot so sometimes when I'm out, I'll run into them. It always gets back to my ex, so even with no contact from me, he still knows what I've been up to.So he hasn't been able to "miss" me. I don't know....

    • Why don't you start dating someone, I'm sure this news will set him off a bit. no man wants to see there ex move on. its the thought of knowing that someone you loved is having sex or something with them. I don't know if you have tried this approach yet. if I saw my ex with someone new, I would be so 'p*ssed' lol.

    • Lol. I don't understand why? He broke up with me. I would think that's what he would want. I mean, what guy wants an ex pestering him with texts, etc. It seems that even after a break-up, the "game" never ends. Hmmm.

  • My best friend and his girlfriend are going through the same situation now, and he's definitely over her. They never fought either.

    If you always are the one to initiate contact, I believe its time for you to move on.

    He seems like he is no longer interested. Try getting out and 'get back on the game.'

    There's a saying that goes, "When people fight, and make up, the bond is stronger." In my opinion, fighting is essential with a relationship, as no fighting can mean one partner is keeping something hidden from the other.

    Lay low for sometime, and wait to see if he will contact you.

    Best wishes.

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    • Thanks for that. It's hard sometimes to keep the no contact going. A part of me wonders how he's doing, if he's happy, and the other part of me wonders WHY I even care. He doesn't contact me, or even wonder how I'm doing. I remember a few months ago, he said something to me that should have been enough to move on for good. He said he didn't want to keep in contact like before because he didn't want to lead me on. Deep down he knew I wasn't over him, and he was right. Definitely need to move on.

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    • Well, I have decided that I need to turn missing him and hoping he'll come around, to just not caring anymore. It's too emotionally exhausting to keep on with this. My ego and my heart have both been hurt, and frankly, no man is worth waiting around for who has done that to a woman who cared so much. He made his choice months ago, and that's enough for me to say, Your loss, someone else's gain. And yes, this head is high! =)

    • Glad I could help out.

  • Funny this NC thing is getting so popular that everybody use this. Now I wonder, if both you and your Boyfriend will be working on NC to get each other back and want to work on NC strictly then how it will work and who will break it first?.

    In your case you finally broke it by sending him a text. He must be all applauding the NC rule of you breaking down.

    I think if you need him back in your life then call him and talk to him. It will never make you look small. But before that, most important thing is to sit and talk to yourself, If he wanted you to change your behavior then be sure he will not accept you again with the same way. Ifyou can't do that, then just move on and concentrate on your own life.

    Telling you with my own personell experience.

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  • No, not if he broke up with you. if you broke up with him he will take you back, just don't be to sudden about it. go on 2 friendship dates first

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    • He broke up with me, But just today, he finally responded. I noticed why. I wasn't acting needy, and showing my emotions. It was friendly catching up chat texting. I think he responded because I wasn't being emotional and acting needy. It's weird becasue just a week ago I called and left him a message, then I text, with no response. Although I'm grateful that he STILL talks to me after all that, I can't help but wonder why? I mean, a guy can only handle so much emotional flip-flop from his ex.

    • Reason why - Disentrest genarates attraction. (fact) but if you continue like that,, maybe ther is a chance

What Girls Said 9

  • Hello I am going through a similar situation. Me & my ex have been together for 5 years. We lived together & on sept 5th he moved out of our apt that we have been sharing (although he is still paying me rent). It is very hard because I have to stay in an apt that we once shared but I'm alone now. He has contacted me since we broke up & we have hung out once. He had said he wanted to come back home which I was all for but then changed his mind AGAIN. I finally put my foot down & told him to not contact me ever again unless he knew that he wanted this relationship & his fear of committment was gone. I just told him this a week ago as of today. It is so hard & I do agree with you. Its like you want something to work so bad but it seems like the more & more you don't hear from him the more real it becomes that it may really be done, scary stuff. Well my advice to you is to stay strong & don't contact him. The way I look at it is if he truly wants to be with you again then he will contact you without you having to say anything to him because he already knows how you feel about him. & well if he doesn't contact you then you wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. I know easier said than done right? Well girlie hang in there & stay strong! Ur not alone

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    • Thank you for your response. I made a conscious decision to just move on from this. He lured me in, hook, line ,and sinker. Then he made a decision to let me go months ago, but he wasn't sure he wanted to let me go so I went back. That's why it's been hard for me, because I initially went against my decision to just walk away. But I was vulnerable, and not ready to let him go. He's moved on, and I need to realize that and do the same for me, as much as I don't want to give up, he has.

    • Also, a part of me wanted to text him on his birthday in 2 weeks, but I'm not sure I should. What do you think? (We didn't burn any bridges, but there's no communication on his part...)

  • I say just move on with your life and find yourself a man who is willing to appreciate you and think it a privilege to be in your presence. It is apparent that your ex was avoiding you during your relationship which is why you never say his van. Now that he doesn't have to worry about you he is coming around more. I know its hard but you have to move on. Here is my quote to you "You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life' (Dr. Wayne Dyer).

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  • Call him and just be like hey I was wondering if you would want to get coffee and catch up. Or just text him saying that you miss him and even if he doesn't chose to date you anymore you would love to be friends at the very least and if he doesn't respond then you know he isn't interested. Try a couple more times and if you don't get a response that shows you he doesn't care. Don't waste too much time on this!

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  • Hey sorry it took me a while to get back to u, I don't think that you should contact him on his bday, he is expecting you to do that. If you would like to email me my email address is daniellec080887@yahoo.com. I think we could be able to help one another but it is hard for me to get on this site off of my mobile phone. Email works better so feel free :) danielle

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    • Thank you for that! Never thought he may be expecting me to contact him on his bday. If he cares just alittle, he'll definitely notice if I don't. That will let me know. ;-)

  • It sounds to me that you were more interested in him than he was of you. I know it sucks. I think you should let him do the talking and see if he intiates contact otherwise you just don't know if if he still interested. Takes this time to go out, try a new hobby and reflect on your relationship.

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    • You're right. He's gotten so used to hearing from me. Takes the pressure off him to do that, which is bs. How would I know how he really feels if I don't back off, like you said. He's such a stupid boy for letting me go. :/

  • did you guys get back together?

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    • No we haven't. Since I posted this, we did hook up in early December. We were both lonely and I knew it was just no fill that void. We ran into each other twice since then as well. And just yesterday, we texted each other after no communication in over a month. Sound like maybe he misses me?

  • It does sounds like he's missing you...SInce you've apart for a little while, you can definitely call him and when you meet, ask him if if he would like to give it a second chance. For me, It's been 11 days since we've talked last and I don't know if I should call him or not. What do you think since you are in a similar situation? We had an argument and then he said we should pull back. I don't know what that means...

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    • Well I just recently broke down and texted him after one month of NC. He replied, and we texted back and forth. But as I really thought about it, if he was interested in wanting to be with me, or even as friends, he would contact me. It goes both ways. So I have decided just today that I would no longer have any contact with him whatsoever. It's humiliating, and I can do so much better for myself instead of chasing someone who chose to give me up. As for your ex, pulling back means needing space..

  • If it's only been two weeks, that's some sort of grey area. If he didn't respond then again, respect his decision. You're making the right move to heal and move on, but I understand slipping up. I don't think it's slipping up, you're testing the waters and wondering what the other is thinking/doing. It would be slipping up if you just showed up unannounced places, or if you were texting him over and over, and not giving him space. So, just accept the fact that you tried, which there is nothing wrong with that, and that he decided not to respond.

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  • I don't believe in NC after a relationship whether you want to or don't want to get back together with him. Because if he wanted you back, not contacting him isn't going to magically change his mind

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