Get over first major love? How long?

Loved a woman, she was much older than me so she decided to end things but after about 3 years of deep deep intense kind of love... I really thought of her as the lantern which lights up my natural darkness... Basically i am constantly depressed and she saved me from that

But now its been 5 months since she broke my heart, i wonder how long does it take? How long did it take you to get back to normal and not have anxiety or fears of being alone.. I really don't love her anymore, but i am so deeply afraid of being alone, my thoughts always turn to very selfish actions such as suicide... What the hell do i do?
Get over first major love? How long?
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