How can I get over my break up?

We were long distance but yes Ik it never works out but I thought it would anyways yea he broke up with me cause it was too hard and he has feelings for someone else and he had to tell me bc he’d rather not hurt me more. I’ll miss him. His smile, his laugh, his cute face, and our nightly calls. But it was in evitable. I just feel super sad and heartbroken. He said he loves me but he doesn’t. I don't know. That’s what he said to me (he’s korean but lives in Canada so don’t mind his grammar) he was my person. The person I always wanted to talk to. I love him and I want to move on but I don't know how to start How can I get over my break up?How can I get over my break up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Remind yourself that you will move on, but don't rush it. It's okay to mourn the lost connection. Let yourself heal. Trying to push it out is just stressing you out.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sometimes getting over a break up isn't easy task take it by small steps. It's okay to still have feelings for them if you really loved them. Give some time for yourself discover new things in life go shopping, hang out with friends, or go to the beach. You need time and space to heal. Block them from any social media you have like Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Don't immediately think your are going to be friends with them because breaking up with someone makes them feel unwanted and sad. Remember its okay to cry if you don't its going to haunt you later. If you want to get back with him write him a love letter and tell him that you still love him and want things to work out again it worked for me once. In the future if you find another guy take it slow especially if your heart was really broken in the past.

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    • We’re not exactly friends but we didn’t block each other. He likes someone else and he doesn’t want to hurt me and he just doesn’t have the dedication I want. I want him back but I don’t want to pressure him and I’ll just let time do it thing

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    • Then you have to have something to offer. Act fast, you need to keep him before it's to late. For example, think about relocation. You gotta do something/make some sacrifice/make an effort already if you want what you want? You can't expect to get everything you want by doing nothing about it. Think practically. Think about something yu can do to be closer to him constantly and therefore available physically. I'm not like the stereotypical guy in that regard ie I have infinite patience about getting sexual plus I value emotional bonding more. But I do look at myself as a very sexual person who would want all of that that comes with the beauty of a physical relationship too; so that should say enough about him too. He has been pretty straightforward with his message, but he also seems like a gentleman (he doesn't want to hurt you which means he cares for you are perhaps there's something more.) So if you want something bad, you have to make an effort to make a change, like I said.

    • Trust me if I could do something to relocate I would. I’m 16 and he lives in a different country. He’s 19. I believe love has so age so yea. He’s an amazing person and in the beginning of his message he said something about how he hates that I can't physically be there and that’s why he grew feelings with someone he sees everyday. I can’t do anything else than call him. I know he still loves me but he just can’t have a long distance relationship with me bc it’s hard. He cares so much and he’s been such a gentleman of all my questions. I really want him I do. Id do anything but there’s a limit on what i can do if I’m 16.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Breakup is the hard truth, it hits hard... At this point all I'd say to you is just let yourself feel it, don't resist it, cry if you want to, don't divert your attention from it, is your pain, own it and get stronger... I've seen people ignoring the pain and they end up running from it their entire lives... I used to do It to, and I thought that was moving on but as soon as I faced it and accepted it, I was no longer sad...

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  • I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Same ol' happened to me too, I can't figure how they feel that way. But I guess they are more just physical/sexual "people" than emotional beings like us.

    But to answer your question, the best way to get over him is -you can never get over him as long as you just focus o getting over him. Give yourself a break and just liberally grieve. Yeah you had it bad with him in the end, there's no denying it but so what more can you do than just grieve? I was depressed too, so sad that I slit my neck on both sides of my shoulder but I am indestructible even by my own hands, unfortunately. Even after I recovered I was still so attached to her and hoping, hoping... Then I realised what made my feelings tick. I figured that I have to break the connection. Then the emotional dependence slowly dies away. It's heart breaking but it happens anyway. Just like a wound healing.

    So stop having any form of communication and new things will open up for you. I know, it feels like fuck but you will heal, trust me. Even at this point I will happily run back to her if she wants me but then things have opened up for me so even if she doesn't, I still have more hope to rely on than slitting my neck if she doesn't.

    So start by losing all forms of connection/communication or anything that reminds you of him. Plainly, if he doesn't return your feelings, then you have to respect yourself better than letting yourself be led by something that's just as empty as a fucking bowel full of shit if you get what I mean.

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  • I think you've taken one step by acknowledging that it was inevitable and that long distance (almost) never works.

    I'd recommend finding something else to get involved in and focus on until you find someone else you want to have a relationship with.

    Also keep in mind that you are not alone and that almost everyone goes through a few breakups before finding the right person. It's painful but a normal part of the process of finding the right life partner.

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  • Honestly...
    Everyone is different and it depends on how serious, how attached, and how close the 2 people were... Me personally I get attached quick and my couple of long relationships that I had I was in Luv and would've done anything for my partner... It has not been easy ever especially when my ex wife and I split... The main thing that helped me was trying to be around a friend whenever I could and when I wasn't hanging with a friend I just kept myself busy as possible... When ur busy and constantly on the go I tend to not think bout everything that's going on... Another thing I did was get a gym membership and I started going to the gym 2hrs a day 6-7 says a week... If u can get through going for bout 2 weeks u will be fine and will end up being upset with ur self if u can't make it a day... U start feeling really good every time ur done working out within the 1st 3 weeks for me after a week I was feeling like I had a great workout when I was done... U feel really good bout ur self and what ur doing... U do need to understand that it will take a while before I notice change in the mirror... If not and ur looking for changes right away it could end up backfiring on u and put u in even more of a depressed state... I just tried to be more involved in all aspects of my life... The more involved I was the less time my brain had to go to that unhappy place... Once I got that under control I found that it worked a lot and helped so much more than I thought it would... I do hope that this helps even 1 person and that will make me feel good that I was able to be there for someone... Wish everyone who is going through this the best and if anyone wants to talk more just hit me up...22yeahman04 at geee mail for commmmmmm

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  • Time is your enemy/friend when it comes to breakups. Over time it gets easier but it takes a good bit of time before you're feeling good again. You're young so I'll give you advice I'd give to myself at your age. Have fun. Most of it doesn't matter. Have some more fun. Win at life lol.

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  • I think it's important to give yourself time to realize you guys are still young... you have plenty of time to connect with someone else... you don't need to replace him but like maybe find someone else to talk to... expand your friendships and be open to trying new things.

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  • Am in a LDR too. And yes chances aren't always in favour of but I'll try. Don't let your mind think LDRs don't work. Some do, just need to find the right person. As tip just sleep over it. Like I did it once too I cried honestly and after a 2-7 days I was over it :)

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  • Go have hot sex with a dude who lives right down the street. You'll get over the Korean dude in Canada real quick when you have penis inside you.

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  • occupy your mind with other stuff and time will take away the hurt

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  • I mean I can be your boyfriend and we can have a long distance relationship, trust me it will work out.

    Calm down its just a joke

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  • Move closer, or find a new boyfriend. Your young, it will be easy

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  • You new to make a new friend. Find a new man or a friends with benefits.

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  • Breaups are really bad I rather take bullet in the head...
    Let me be stright, nothing will help u but time. Not another relationship not books or going crazy and pretending that nothing has happened or that u don't care and fuck the world act because that will makes it harder to let go, only and only time will help and its a good thing that it was ldr, like it or not, normal relationships are way way harder to let go.
    I hope u soon forget all about it. Breakups are hard we all know, don't worry. u can pm me if u had any questions. Im a breakup expert 😐😶

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  • Keep yourself busy

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  • Find a new guy. Rebound relationship.

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  • We've all been through bad break ups and it will be hard to get over them but for now best thing you can do would be to delete any photo of him and try find someone new to get him off your mind

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What Girls Said 3

  • 1. Cry it out. Bawl your head off. Just sit in your room for hours and cry cry cry.
    2. Eat junk food. Not for too long or you can start to use it to cope with everything.
    3. Delete all your pictures of him and block him. I know it sounds hard but cutting all contact is the best way to get over someone.
    4. After maybe a few days or a week, depending on how hurt you are, go out with friends! Dress up and have a good time even if you don't want to! Go to dinner or a club or something and dance.
    5. Exercise. Exercising releases endorphins and makes you happy!
    6. Take a bath. Buy a bath bomb or some bath salts and relax. Treat yo self.
    6. Get a makeover. Maybe get a haircut or some highlights or just try a new makeup look! Change is good!
    These are just a few tips to help ease the pain of a breakup. Remember, it won't last forever so the longer you are without him the easier it will be!

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  • Friends with Benefits. Find a distraction

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  • I think he’s done well to be really honest with you. The problem with LDR is the person may well be great but if you actually want something different from a relationship like someone who is there physically and to come home to, then it’s going to hit problems unless one of you moves. You come to a point where you realise that your lives are just too different. When my 2 yr LDR broke up I realised I was mourning a number of things:
    - loss of future plans together as we’d spent a long time planning which holidays and weekends we could see each other - suddenly I didn’t have plans and my life felt empty looking forward Short-medium term - i filled this by booking holidays and planning to see friends
    - loss of long term future hopes/dreams. Not much you can do about this but recognise it... and hope in time someone else will come along
    - loss of everyday interaction - I really missed someone messaging good morning and goodnight and asking how my day had been and telling me about theirs. I felt lonely. Perhaps ask a friend to be your message support for a while as there’s a pretty big gap when you’ve been used to LDR messages popping up to make you smile. My cousin sent me little pictures and good mornings and good nights for the first couple of weeks and it really helped.

    Cutting off all contact is the hardest and the best thing. I’d never had to do this but he defriended me on FB immediately. It hurt like HELL but looking back now every time his name comes up via a mutual friend post, I feel a pang. Wouldn’t want that in my feed if we were still friends. Best way to hope for actually being friends with him in a year or two but if we aren’t then I will be ok... my life will go on just fine.

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