boyfriend broke up with me because he has fear of commitment. Is there any hope?

He said he can't be in a relationship because his life is a mess
Updates:
I've been no contact for a week. Should I keep it this way?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It’s all hopeful!!! When a guy commits... He takes responsibility for his girl - and it’s a HUGE obligation! It scares most guys.. and you KNOW if you’re up for it or not...

    Many will need time to get their life together... before committing.

    If he’s “the one”.. stand by him, alongside him... until he’s ready. You’ll know when he is...

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • Don’t go for commitments. You have no clue what it means for a guy. Give him the chance to decide whenever he is ready. He is essentially becoming a slave. Would you say yes? Just like that?

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    • But what should I do to make him come back?

    • Tell him you don’t need his commitment. His love is enough. You need it.

  • Not likely.
    let me get this straight.., he’s saying he’s not serious and you’re wondering if you should be. Sounds like you really like him but if he’s not sure you need to tell him to figure it out. In meanwhile you should be open to the right one who comes along. Don’t fixate on what isn’t or could have been. Be ready for when it’s real and don’t settle for second best.

    If he comes back you need straight answers what changed. Best just to learn and move on. Best wishes and sorry for your broken heart

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  • He is not worth your time. He might get it together but that is not something worth wasting your time on. If you want something and he can't give it, you can find someone who can.

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  • First ask yourself if you really want to be involved in his messy life? If you have been with him long term and highly committed then I would say work with him to get through it. But if this relationship is fairly new then I would say let him go and find someone else.

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  • I think your answer is in the question. Why would you want someone who can't commit

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  • The hope is... that you move on and stop wasting time and energy on this dude, waiting for him to grow up. Is there hope you will do that?

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  • Respect his decision but contact him every so often to see how he's doing.
    Maybe send him a text message or give him a phone call.

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  • I wouldn't initiate any contact. But it's up to you, if you can live with being with someone who doesn't want to commit to you.

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  • Give him some time. 3-6 months. After that you should look for something better.

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  • no I've had this problem before people with commitment issued can't have relationships till they fix them

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  • Help him gain courage. Can you help him get out of the mess?

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  • Time heals everything.
    And
    Don't force things, it never works out

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  • B. S. he's nailing someone else. If u r lucky enough to find love, don't let go

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    • he is recovering from opiate addiction

  • They always come back for more.

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    • men always come back?

    • Show All
    • Yes you do need opportunity. Well I'm glad you're a decent guy.

    • I am kind of an asshole, actually. But, I won't cheat on you. I am also a man of my word. As man, if you don't have that, you don't have shit.

  • Nope it’s over

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  • He seems to have a low self esteem.

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  • Respect his decision.

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  • Yes if he manages that mess

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What Girls Said 7

  • He's being honest. Let him go and move on, if it's meant to be you'll find your way back to each other. But you need to move on and live your life. Anyone who Admits their life is a mess isn't joking around. The last thing a person ever wants to admit is their life is a mess!!! Give him his much needed space and freedom to take care of what he needs to take care of...

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  • I'd let him focus on himself right now and get it together. Right now he doesn't need to be in a relationship. It seems like it's just giving him more stress.

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  • well he's acknowledging his problems and on the most positive route it may be because he doesn't want to drag you down with him and has a poor self image of himself and his competency but cares for you and that's why he may not feel he can properly give his best at the moment. i mean he might work his shit out but he'll need a stronger sense of self for that to happen. then the worst and unfortunately most realistic reality is he didn't want to deal with it. can't say for sure

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  • It's time to let go. Maybe when he fixes his life he will get back to you but don't wait around as it may never happen.

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    • Yes no contact is the best. He will either feel that it was a mistake or he will be relieved it was over.

  • If he tells you that his life's a mess and he needs to fix it, believe him and let him go. My life's a mess too, and there is no way that I'm capable of any sort of relationship right now. Be glad that you didn't have to find out the hard way through lies, cheating, and manipulation, because people usually aren't that self aware and instead end up hurting others because they're hurting. I'm so sorry you're going through a breakup, I know it sucks, but at least you dodged some emotional scars. Take care of yourself <3

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  • Excuses, excuses

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  • Umm it depends on you that you want to wait for him or not.
    But if you want a srs relationship then u should move on and find someone who is ready to be with you.

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