Would you consider me a doormat or a good girlfriend?

Helped my boyfriend when he lost everything,
Encouraged him to get clean from drugs,
Defended him when everybody found his lies,
He left me several times saying he couldn't be in a relationship,
Lied to me about everything,
Manipulated me and said it was because of drugs,
When we back together I tried to please him, played video games with him, sex all the time, cleaned the house, massaged him before bed so he could sleep better...
He broke up with me again saying he can't be in a relationship due to his problems... I said I understood and thanked him for the good times. Do I look stupid for doing this?
Updates:
Do you think he doesn't respect me? One of the last things he said was that he appreciates me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I disagree with sabretooth that you ARE a doormat. You were at times, but you tried to save him. IF you were to have anything more to do with him NOW, you'd be a stupid fool, and a doormat, or whatever bad term you want to use. Get far away from him. He has to save himself now.

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    • I cut all contact

    • Wise choice. It's not a bad thing to hang in there for someone, and love them, but he's not doing his share and he would drag you down. I bet you'll find someone really good for you in no time at all.

    • i never said are

Most Helpful Girl

  • A real man wouldn't treat you this way. You are not wrong for wanting to do nice things, and be there for someone you love. That is what parters should do for one another. However, you knew this man and who he is as a person and probably knew that he was not capable of making you feel appreciated, and being a good boyfriend. In no way is it your fault for being there for him, as long as you now realize that he wasn't the right person to be there for. He didn't deserve it. And you will find someone who not only deserves it but reciprocates it! Im sorry you were manipulated and used, I've been there, and it sucks. But now we know what we deserve, and need from a partner! This man doesn't respect you, he respects everything you did for him, and is only appreciative of that supply that you gave him. You seem like a kind soul, and you deserve more. Move on and be stronger because of it!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • No. You love him and it seems like you were trying to keep his stress low so he wouldn't use again. The thing is, he has to be the one to keep himself clean by going to meetings, getting a sponsor, going through rehab if it's that bad. Anything you do only supports the poor coping skills he has and can further the addiction.

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  • It was your choice doesn't matter how you look over it. Personally I think you stayed with him too long but it is your choice.

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    • I thought I could help him staying away from drugs

    • I get the wanting to try just feels like he isn't trying if it keeps happening.

      I recently had to end a relationship as I could see things just weren't changing as she wasn't willing to try and meet half way.

  • You sound like someone who has to be appreciated much more than this. You can do better and a lot of men would kill to find someone like you. I think it was stupid of you to do that. With that said, don't be harsh on yourself for it. Move on and find yourself someone who has a heart as big as yours.

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  • He was unable to adapt to a new life. He needs a destroyer, not a helper.

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    • yes its sad

    • It was similar with my crazy bitch. Always om self sabotage. You can’t help such people. If they hate you they will pull you into their abyss, if they love you they will push you away. Just go. You can’t do anything. And don’t ask yourself what a crazy person thinks about you.

  • Damn that's a golddiger the guy I meant.
    I should had a girlfriend like you when I needed the most.

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    • Doesn't matter if his words doesn't meet actions. Another story about a bad boy

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    • because I loved him and he doesn't even care about me... he will just move on without looking back

    • Same things happens with nice guys too.
      at least you realize it I have to congratulate you for that.
      I wonder if there is any love that remained for someone that really loves you back. Anyway try to be more balanced in life take care of yourself first

  • I think you gave him opportunity and he is an addict.. he will take whatever he can get as selfishly as he can.

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  • Sounds like a total bum. Get rid of him. You deserve so much better

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  • doormat and yes, you do look stupid. the first 2 were good-went downhill from there

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  • Hate to say it but you deserve better.

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  • Nope. Lol your basically amazing.

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  • Yeah you do honestly. Wasted a lot of time.

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  • If you were my girlfriend, i would treat you like a queen.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Being too nice won't get you anywhere, i was like that too but i learned the hard way. Stop giving in too much, people are ugly and selfish nowadays lol

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  • Doormat. You love him and you do everything for him. And he sounds like a jerk he doesn't know what he wants. That makes you a doormat.

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  • That's why I don't give second chances. There's a reason it failed in the first place.

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  • Doormat and way to good of a girlfriend to that dude.
    Stop being so nice.

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