Why do some people just never get over their ex?

I have seen so many posts on fb or even here where people ask how to make their ex jealous, or how to take revenge on their ex bf/gf. This happens in real life too (at least around me). in my opinion, they still have feeling for their ex or else they won't be wasting their time trying to get their ex's attention. I told this to some of them but they are in denial. I think they are ashamed to admit that they can't forget their ex.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • When a relationship is really good (or seems really good to one side! But ends badly and the other treats them like shit afterwards it could hae really negative impacts. It's basically going from an emotional high all the way to an emotional low, plus the feeling of injustice from being treated like crap doesn't help. Usually when people feel wronged they want revenge. It's normal nature but all that does is hurt themselves in the end.

    Thos einexperienced with dating take it the hardest mainly because they're the most naive and innocent. They still believe in true love the one, so they get this emotional high and attachment easier and stronger than someone who's a bit more experienced with dating. Those who are more experienced with dating and break ups also know how to handle it better though there are times when they want to make the other hurt just as bad as them.

    Part of this wanting the other person to hurt just as bad as them comes from bad closure usually. If they can hurt the other they can prove to themselves that the other person cared and it's them who are moving on (at least in their heads. Though if they're doing this it's not true).

    On top of this love is like a drug and being ripped away from that drug causes withdrawls. Sadness, depression, anger, etc is part of that. It can also drive a person crazy. Though when someone truly is in love with a person and that bond breaks it's not the easiest thing for some people to over come especially if they don't have good close friends or a strong social circle.

    Though I do agree some of them are in denial and ashamed to admit they can't forget their ex and afraid to get help.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I’ve never posted on social media about an ex that sounds incredibly desperate and not a good look.. and I’ve never met anyone who wants to actually make their ex jealous or get revenge either.. I’ve posted anonymous questions on gag about what o could say to an ex to change their mind or what to say or something like that but that’s about it. But to answer you question. It’s extremly hard to get over an ex especially if they are the one who broke up with YOU. Because they ended something you didn’t want to end and weren’t ready to end. And your feelings are still there. But it wasn’t your choice

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    • Your post is reasonable. I'm taking about some people who intend to hurt their ex or plan to teach their ex a 'lesson' These are kind of extreme to me.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Breakups always suck, especially if its your first one. Some people can get over their exes quickly, some may take longer, but these will get over them eventually, could take months or even a year, unless their foolish enough to hold on if they don't ever have the fortune of meeting someone new and better.

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  • The real problem IMHO is, that most break ups a re unresolved. Leaving one party behind - confused about what's happening. People who separate should do it in a way that both can live with the decision.

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  • It's difficult to get over your ex if you really love him/her. But love is not the reason for making them jealous or taking revenge on them, it might be due to other reasons maybe getting dumped by ex, cheated on by ex. It takes time to get over, maybe it requires another relationship. I haven't got over my ex but I've no intention to make her jealous or taking revenge on her and I don't think it's something to deny or be ashamed of.

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  • They were probably in a deep committed relationship for a long time and have a hard time letting go.

    That being said, these people shouldn’t date until the feelings for their ex are completely resolved.

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  • You've called it absolutely correctly.

    They still have feelings for them, albeit negative ones.

    Complete waste of their time, as you say.

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  • Because they think they can never meet someone one better and they then don’t allow themselves to meet that person.

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  • Because it's hard. Especially if you give up everything for that person and wanting to make that person happy became your motivation.

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  • It’s not the sex or emotion it’s just how they feel and they don’t feel the love anymore for one another move on. There lots of beautiful woman out there , you’ll find it

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  • a lot of people are control freaks and it's hard for them to let go and move on... The answer is yes some people take a really long time to move on...

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  • Sorry to be so blunt, but it's because they're just plain dumb.

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  • Many people reminisce about their time with the Ex as the good old days.

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  • Maybe the sex was just tooo good :P

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    • That's crazy.

    • well its not unheard of especially for girls who lost their virginity to that guy. there's a special connection that happens with the first guy they have sex with.

    • Make sense.

  • Love.

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    • So loves equal to revenge?

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    • I suppose they are both intense, and intense love can be like acid when not reciprocated.

      Doesn't make splashing acid on people ok though does it.

      Revenge is not tied to love though.

    • People who want to hurt their ex's are ill. It doesn't matter if they shit all over you. In the long run, you're better off without them if that's who they are. In the words of Confuscious:
      "‘Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

  • Immature love
    Incomplete desires
    Rejection

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  • They need to get out there and start having sex again!

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  • I admit I'm not over my ex, I believe if you truly loved them, you'll never completely be over them. She broke up with me, and I miss a lot of it, things I'll never find in one person again, and it's a hard thing. Now the posting on FB or getting revenge I see as a selfish thing, like their ego was hurt and that's what they are worried about

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  • They can't forget their ex for the same reason they fell in luv with their ex.

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  • it's shame cuz no one is worth it

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think if not love it's attachment. For me I know I would be one of those petty exes, stalking his profiles and just tryan make him jealous. I think it's because for the last year he's been my world, we do everything together and I have such strong feelings. If we broke up it would be so so hard to see him with someone else or even know he can get with whoever he wants

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    • Would you really stalk someone and be a petty bitch? You seem smarter than that, AND you're a beautiful girl. Wouldn't you rise above all that?

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    • Feel free to message me if you like. I've some other thoughts on the subject, if you want :).

    • Thank you ! :)

  • I think they question their ability to have another chance to date somebody of the calibre or form a similar connection like they did previously.

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  • Because we easily forget the bad times and tend to only remember the good times.
    The little gestures that he had that you thought were cute.
    The places that you and he went to together and now you are there, but by yourself and you think of him.
    The songs that you both liked that you hear again and make you miss him.
    So many good memories.
    But those good memories hide and mask the reasons for the break-up. The arguments that could not be resolved and in some cases even abuse.
    Some things can be fixed but others can't.
    The way to determine is to ask yourself, "Is the problem something that is a part of one, or both, of our DNA.
    DNA can not be changed, that is permanent and will never be fixed.

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  • Some people still have feelings for their ex or can't get over the fact that they moved on or something

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  • Because they're too hurt. The pain/resentment doesn't allow them to be free from that person.

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  • Probably not busy enough.

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  • Maybe they haven't met someone better yet.

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