An eight-year relationship, over.. Accepted the loss, still hurting.. She contacted me. How can I keep my **** together?

I have been dating a girl for almost eight years, and we were deeply in love and planning to get engaged. A few months ago, just a few days after my birthday, we got into a petty argument that was blown out of proportions. At that point, she said she needed a 'break'. Although I felt strongly against any break at such an advanced stage in our relationship, I reluctantly agreed to give us a fortnight to think things over. During that time, our communication became more and more distant - eventually I was the only one trying to maintain contact. After some time, she finally calls me and announces that she needs an open ended break (i. e. we may not come back together, but if we do it is at her convenience). I was in complete shock, and immediately broke down at her proposal. I wholeheartedly rejected and, almost begging, insisted, either we decide to work through things or we call it quits forever. Partners should develop tools to work things out, as opposed to intermittent breaks whenever things get tough; relationships shouldn't have breaks. She never responded, and I burned her from my life - and immediately began rebuilding, concentrating on myself as one does. I went through the stages of mourning, and completely erased triggers of her from my life. It was tough, and things were made infinitely more worse, when her family contacted mine, and laid further abuse and even named another guy who is a 'better' match for her. Just a few days before V-day, I get an email (everything else is blocked) requesting a meet up to go over things. I am getting feelers from friends that she is hurting at the prospect that I may have truly moved on, and would like to exercise her non-existing option to get back to together. I am not getting back together, and I am not for tit-for-tat exchanges.. I am still recovering and struggling, the overtures are making it more and more difficult. I accept partial responsibility, but need help getting over the terrible loss.
Any advise?
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I would like to clarify that by "partial responsibility", I am not trying to rekindle or attribute blame to whatever argument brought forth this situation.. I don't really remember the details, or more importantly the emotions at the time.. But rather, both partner have a responsibility to try and maintain the relationship for the greater good. That's all.
An eight-year relationship, over.. Accepted the loss, still hurting.. She contacted me. How can I keep my **** together?
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