My well he's more in between an ex boyfriend and a boyfriend. He's always in and out of jail, He disappears all the time I have to always go look for him when he's outta jail I mean. He only texts me and won't pick up my calls but he will text me right back instead of calling or picking up. And now he's in jail but before he got arrested he said some REALLY mean things to me about how I'm only good for sex and that's why he even bothers talking to me and that I was crazy, he made me cry when he said that. And that was how he broke up with me(it was random too, everything was going okay for that time being) before he got arrested like 4 days later. And one time I slapped him and he slapped me back and I was so shocked and I said but I'm a girl and he didn't really care. I find out that ever since this winter he's been dating another girl and cheating on me, she put up pictures on facebook of her and him, on top of that he's been with a third girl and I saw that on facebook as well. he's not only been verbally abusive but he's been cheating too. and he always starts a fight where he leaves for weeks and weeks and we are not really broken up so than he'll just come back to me like nothing ever happen. Now he's saying he's changed but he still won't confess about the other girls but he's apologized for the way he has behaved and the way he's treated me, keep in mind he's locked up right now and I'm going to law school soon and today I saw that girl's facebook and she wrote something about him in her status which makes me think they still keep in contact, I haven't asked him about those girls should I? He doesn't work, I always pay for things and give him money and give him sex whenever he wants and he leaves as soon as it's done. He treats me like I bother him, like I'm bugging him but when he's locked up he writes me love letters and he's so sweet and kind but when he's free he's a jerk to me, treats me like a slave and he never calls me or visits me, I have to ask him to or nearly force him and he's never on time, or he cancels at the very last min. But now he's saying he's changed when he's in jail, we write letters to each other. But this is his first real sentence he's in jail for a year in a cell for all day only allowed out an hour of the day. he's even admitted being afraid of jail to me and he's never ever done that he's told me he never wants to be back there ever again. And all his mistreatment was recent, should I believe him? he calls me all the time from jail but I don't pick up, he says no one picks up his calls. I've sent him magazines and hallmark cards. And also what goes on inside a guys mind in jail? because he keeps asking me if I'm having sex with other people. And how does it feel to be in a cell for 23 hours everyday, how does it feel to be locked up?
Jerk ex-boyfriend said he's changed.
What Guys Said 1
Changed? Are you kidding? He's being nice to you because you're the only one contacting him most likely, once he gets out he'll be up to the same shenanigans. Jail is about boredom, you'll talk to anyone in the most sweet, sincere way through phone calls and letters but when it's time for release most guys go back to their old ways.
It's like this; you get popped for something and are in la-la land about it, but once you're in jail awaiting trial it sinks in. You "change," become more religious, scared because the reality is that you aren't getting out of this. However, lots of guys just don't "learn" after being locked up - they are sentenced to a year but then released after a couple months, and all the sudden it's "oh, that wasn't so bad." Some do change, but for most the process is exactly as I described above.
Make him prove himself to you. After he's been out for awhile, working a steady job, paying his bills, not hanging out with his old friends, then you can judge him "changed." Not before then.1
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