Why does my ex boyfriend do this? and what should I do?

My ex boyfriend and I have been going in circles for exactly two going on three years. We fight, break up, get back together. I really love him so in spite of our ups and downs, I have always wanted to try and work it out. After all, that's what you do in a marriage right? Anyway, our pattern is this... we will have a huge fight, I tell him never to call me again. Somehow, one of us breaks. We began talking, soon it turns into something like an unofficial relationship. He calls me hun and beautiful and all the pet names he used when we were together. Then we would eventually start sleeping together. Here I am thinking we're working it out then POOF something happens and his behavior changes. He acts so busy, even though he still calls and texts me everyday, it's not nearly as much. The pet names stop, he leads me on, then leaves me hanging. He tells me I'm annoying and irritating but yet he continues to call me. I have asked him if there is someone else, he's constantly tells me no. If he doesn't want me, why does he continue to lead me on, why call? If someone annoys you, wouldn't you not want any contact with them? Please help. I do love him. I can't get over him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you are both going through a lovers dichotomy...you both feed something to the never ending destructiveness that consumes your "up and down" relationship...instead of repeating your mistakes of your past, try fixing it and create a different dichotomy

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What Guys Said 2

  • Late answer, but if you see this, check out the piece about attachment issues on our website. It is about exactly this kind of situation and was even inspired by a forum question about it.

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  • I find it rather interesting that he uses the things that brings you close to him and then after he sleeps with you it stops... Almost as if all he really wanted was to sleep with you... hmmmm

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What Girls Said 1

  • i have the same ex you do. it's actually scary how much your story parallels mine. I hate to tell you, but I don't think he'll ever come around, but you never know. your situation has become too complicated: you don't trust him and he doesn't value you as a strong, independent individual. He KNOWS you need him and that's bad. the only thing I can think of is really take a break from him: cut him off, do what you have to to get over him and maybe call him in a few months and try to be friends with him. maybe over time and through friendship WITHOUT BENEFITS, he'll respect you again and see your value. make him work to be with you! he should see it as a privilege because you're better than this! hope this helps!

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