Guys, he was in love but now wants nothing to do with me?

I was dating a guy on and off for 3 years. He’s now 45. I’m 35. He was amazing but I wasn’t into him and he moved away but asked me to come. I didn’t. We talked everyday and we visited each other often. He was my best friend. He’s confessed his love for me and I knew I loved him but wasn’t in love with him. He said he would be patient. In that time we both dated others but I know in my heart I was starting to feel different about him. I took some time to myself after I lost my job and traveled 2 months.

During that time I lost contact with him about 3 weeks in. I needed to clear my head. I came back and we got into a huge fight over my trip. Initially I was okay with calling it quits. After a week I realized he’s who I want. He never responded to any of my calls or texts. I hopped on a plane and flew to his house after 3 weeks of him
ignorjng me. I begged for him to give me another chance. He blamed me for everything. When I would be upset about something he was doing, he would tell me he understands because I put him through the same thing. He just became mean and cold. I eventually cut it off about 4 months of really trying and being my best self. He told me I was the closet person to me during that call but I called him a liar bc of the way he was treating me. I told him I love him and I wanted to spend my life with him at that time but I don’t think its what he wants anymore. He never fought for the relationship and said we needed space.

We haven’t spoke for 2 months and I want to give him space because I realize we both need to heal. I need to forgive myself for not wanting it initially and not always being my best self with him. But in all of that I hope it will work out one day. My heart says he’s gone for good. Can you tell me why he acted this way and if you believe he’s going to come back?
Guys, he was in love but now wants nothing to do with me?
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