I just don't know what to do, move on? Or wait? Or keep her in mind but for now move on?

Whom I have been seeing for some months now (since February). It started as a 'me just being a guy' and wanting to hookup, all the while she had a crush on me some years back and I suppose you could say I took advantage of the situation. But as the months passed, I grew to like everything about her, even though I was fully aware (she was verbal about it) that she was scared to be in anything serious and had some serious guy issues in terms of her ex's.. So on her birthday, she basically tells me that she thinks I am more attached to her than she can handle, and it isn't fair to me so she has to end it... We have been 'together' (not official) for 8 months now, and on her birthday she decides to end it. I don't get it, I'm hurt, and don't know what to do. Should I just move on? This has all been so sudden. She told me that a week ago she just had this nagging feeling about 'us' and now I guess that has taken over. I am legitimately crushed but I will live. But I'm not over her, I don't like the way this ended, and I just don't know what to do, move on? Or wait? Or keep her in mind but for now move on? I just want someone else's (preferably girls) opinions.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I understand your situation. And it is hard to let go of someone like that. That was rash and unexpected on her part. I believe that she "broke up" with you not because she didn't like you, but she is afraid of getting attached again and losing you, like whatever happened to her ex... I mean I know it sounds silly but people who get hurt badly are afraid to love again..especially with girls...because they think they'll be left again. I agree with Clueless09's answer - she is leaving you because she probably thinks that she doesn't deserve you or that you don't like her enough so she doesn't want to take a risk and commit into something, only to get dumped later.

    "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." (Marilyn Monroe quote)... She is afraid of being used again.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hi there

    I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I know it hurts but it will be fine sooner. You say she had a crush on you couple of years back but did she ever voice her feelings for you in the time of you both being together in whatever way it was .

    In a way it's good if she decided to quit it before it got harder for you. He cares not to hurt you and maybe isn't ready for a commitment. I suggest you move on keep her in your heart and move on and might be you both would meet again. For now give her some space and time to miss you but don't hold on to any hopes. Treat it like it's over.

    It's hard but better now than after years.

    Take care of yourself. And keep updated about how things are.

    I would pray for you to feel better.

    Hugs.

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    • Sadly, I think you are right.. she has been the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time, and I hate to see it go like this, but you are right. I appreciate the feedback and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts. I think this whole thing started because I was being more straightforward in my affection than I ever have before (cuddling/sweet talking and such) and I am almost positive that that's what started this. the closer I get the more she backs off :( but its over now..

    • Well maybe she was straightforward to you about not wanting an attachment. You got to understand that many guys do this too the emotional level scares them off. I'm sure someday someone will want to be with you for the same reasons you were left for. Till than be strong and move ahead. It will be fine over time.

  • I've been like that girl before. I didn't decide to change until recently, because it is VERY hard. I've had to make so many personal improvements, but I've grown as a person. Your relationship with her won't be able to work unless she realizes what she could have with you and decides that SHE wants to work through her emotional issues and grow.

    You shouldn't get hung up on her, because you have no control over what she is going to do. To be honest, she could likely continue being the same way she is. Though if she decides she wants to improve herself, then I think you should give her a chance. Don't miss out on opportunities because of her though.

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  • I would say go and tell her how you feel. You don't need to be all mushy about it but just say that you liked being with her, really like her and miss hanging out. Maybe all she needs is reassurance. A lot of girls will leave a guy to avoid a broken heart. Maybe she had started to have real feelings for you and didn't feel that the feelings were returned. I mean you did say that at the start you were only interested in hooking up, ,maybe she picked up on that and got scared.

    Good luck :)

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    • Thank you for reading and giving me feedback.. but she told me that she thought I was getting too attached to her and that she just didn't feel quite the same starting last week... I also was very affectionate the past week... way more so than I have been before. I think that is what scared her away to be honest with you.. but I appreciate the advice nonetheless

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