Weekends of drunk calls and saying things you won't remember?

Okay so a few weeks ago I cut my hair. Like super short. That same weekend I get drunk with a group of about 8 people and am dared to kiss this guy.

Everyone drinks some more, he doesn't drink much that night I don't think, and it's time to go to bed. I go lie on my friend’s top bunk in her dorm and he follows. At first it was just us getting ready to sleep but then he asks me “Why’d you cut your hair?” I cut it because I do random things like that but drunk I just said “I don’t know, because I like it” so being a little more persistent he asks “Do you like girls?” I guess he thought I was trying to not blatantly say I was gay and wanted to know before he offended me by trying to get with me. Long story short we end up fooling around, lots of touching and whatnot but no sex.

He has work in the morning so he says he has to go get some sleep and we'll finish this another day and leaves. Next day he texts me asking to hang out. We hang out in the common room of his dorm with his friends and kiss and talk about different things. This weekend I go out drinking AGAIN and end up drunk calling him saying how hot he is, how I want to have sex with him, and that I don't want a relationship.

This is where I screwed up. I really like him and only said I didn't want a relationship because I drunkenly let my insecurities say something that would make it impossible for me to get rejected. And I pretty much came into college just wanting to hookup no relationships since I just got out of a 2 year one, but with him that is not what I truly want since I have a crush on him (My roommate knows and every time I dress not like a bum she’ll even tease me about it asking if I’m dressed nice for him)

And he’s not just looking to have sex with me since just yesterday we hung out and he said “since our roomies are asleep in our rooms we can’t do anything but chill you still wanna hang?” So he likes my company, or is really bored at 2 in the morning?

I want to have sex with him but I want more and don't know if that would be possible if I just have sex with him. What's even more confusing is he has blatantly said to me” you're awesome... Just your hair…” so I think he doesn't want to date me simply because of what people might say but he likes me too. Or he just said he didn’t want a relationship because I opened my mouth and said I wasn’t looking for a relationship. . See my confusion? What should I do?

We had sex, wasn't great. More drunk texts and calls later he says he's comfortable with me and wants to just chill with me. We chill the next night, cuddle, kiss and touch, I try and initiate sex he backs off and we just cuddle and talk til we fallasleep
I wake up as he's leaving he kisses me goodnight, a soft drawn out kiss we're we are holding each other and just kind of looking into each others eyes for a few seconds before reluctantly separating and saying goodnight.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well guys are very literal. if you said "I want to have sex but no relationship" he believes that is what you want. If you truly want a relationship you will have to tell him that want a relationship. Its pretty simple really.

    The only question is if you should have sex first and then ask him if he wants to become more serious after you've been f*** buddies for a while, or tell him before any sex is had and see how he reacts.

    I leave it up to you, but it sounds like this gone pretty far physically. You both know you want to have sex with each other, you've fooled around some. He is definitely into you physically. So you know he has at least some desire for you.

    Since you SAID you don't want a relationship, and you actually do want one, it is your responsibility to set the record straight. Otherwise he will never know.


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