5 year relationship, too soon to move on?

Ended it with my fiance, asked him to move out almost a month ago. He still has his some things here. We were engaged for about a year and a half. Dated for about 4 years. Lived together for pretty much all of it.

Last year, he said we were over and started packing things. I was able to convince him to stay and he said he realized he loved me still. Back in June we started having problems again. Argued pretty much non-stop about every little thing, it was exhausting. He said he we were done again, but again, he stayed. Both times he dumped me we got back together, still engaged. He is very condescending, angry and explosive. But very passionate and has good intentions.

In August, we talked about taking a break. But we were still living together. He was trying to fight for me, but I was very confused. I had already mentally prepared myself for him to go messing around with other girls. Finally told him it was over and asked him to move out.

I feel like a terrible person, but I realize I was unhappy for awhile now. Started talking to someone who had made it obvious that he was interested in me. To be honest, I think I used him a bit through this breakup. It was nice hearing sweet things from someone else you know? Made it easier. He was interesting, but I didn't think of him in a relationship kind of way.

I started talking to an old guy friend I had lost touch with. (different guy than the one mentioned in previous paragraph) He likes me, always has, and I like him, always have. But I'm scared and I feel guilty. It hasn't been a month yet. I don't want him to be a rebound relationship. I told him this. He said he's sad, and disappointed but he understood and that he will give me time. We've only been talking through the phone and I really would like to meet up with him but I'm afraid.

Was the other guy that I was just talking to sort of a rebound? Not sure what I should do from here. I do want to eventually become friends with my ex-fiance.

Ex-fiance read a conversation I had with my old friend behind my back and is angry and hurt by it. He still has keys to the house.

Oh yeah, my guy friend from the past recently had a dream about me. It's hard not to go silly and think it was more than coincidence. I'm trying to do the right thing, but I don't know what that is.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 1

  • Girl, I think you need to give yourself as much time and space as possible! You just got out of a very intense, serious relationship and you need sometime to get back to yourself and who you are. I can understand how your guy friend would be disappointed, but he really shouldn't pressure you in anyway and if he does, then that just means he's definitely not putting your best interest at the forefront.

    Keep getting to know each other again, but avoid avoid avoid anything deeper until you've been alone for a least a couple months and until you're truly over your ex-fiance. If the ex-fiance is reading conversations you've had with the friend then that means he's still too involved in your life and you and any new guy deserve to have a clean slate with no past-relationships drama.

    And get your keys back or change the locks girl! Because that will be the true sign that you've moved on and you're ready to face the future without the ex-fiance!

    • You are absolutely right. Thank you!

Recommended myTakes