My now ex and I have been together since I was 17on/off. 10 years. He took off for the army and we kept a very rocky LDR. Cheating, lies. He was finally home after 4 years but little did he know I had found someone amazing. I Chose to be with my ex in the end. We finally lived together and i made him my LIFE. I dropped all my friends and was just us. 2 years after that he said he was unhappy and we took a break, found him in bed with another girl. I made I’m choose and he chose me. Fast forward 4yrs and we bought a home together, no cheating no lies, went engagement ring shopping talked about kids. Got 2 dogs, I thought wow he’s finally changed. Then he tells me out of no where that he’s unhappy and our relationship has run it’s course. I work too much, I can’t cook or clean, I’m not as skinny as I used to be just everything you could think of. He’s always been a depressed person and he felt he needed a fresh start and a new life. I’m devasted. I begged, I cried on my knees please don’t do this. He cried and told me he didn’t want to marry me or have kids, he loves me but he couldn’t stay. He promised there was no one else. That was 3 1/2 wks ago. I’m back at my parents house, no one to come home to no dogs, no friends. Find out he’s already had sex with someone and is hanging out with her... yet he calls me when he’s feeling depressed or wants to have phone sex. And I take it because it’s better than begging to be with someone, or fighting. He doesn’t want me back and he wants to move on but I can’t seem to... I can’t eat, I can’t focus at work. I have no friends anymore, I can’t even get out of bed. I just cry all day pull myself together To make it through one day at work. I feel so depressed and even though I know I shouldn’t want him back after he’s already slept with someone, a part of me does. He is consuming my mind and I’m going crazy. I don’t know how to move on from this, I’m not ready to Let go.
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I know it's hard after such a long time of being in love with a guy, but realistically a guy like him doesn't deserve you after the way he's treated you. Go pursue your friendships again, with female friends. There are definitely other women out there who can relate to you and will want to support you through this. Try to find a routine to settle back in to a good lifestyle, but include fun spontaneous things. And if he does ever want you back, don't take him. Get rid of everything you have of his and his contact details, everything. This is the first step to letting go, and it's suprisingly hard. Get a new pet, if you like animals and you don't have too many already. It seems obvious, but make sure you're still taking care of your health (eating enough nutritious and healthy food, drinking enough water, sleeping enough etc.). Physical health directly affects mental health, and is very important in situations like this. Continue focusing on work if you like your job, but don't make it your entire life, and the only thing you go out for. This will make you feel worse.0