Can I still get back with my ex?

It's been like 3 years and we haven't really seen each other in a while, but this entire time even while dating other girls, she was the only girl I really wanted to be with..

I really messed things up, I blamed her for cheating on me, even though she wasn't, then I left her and started dating her best friend. (side note: karma is doing the same thing to me, my ex is now with one of my best friends)

She really liked me too, but I ignored her most of the time and was truly pathetic looking back at it..

I suppose all this time apart has really made me realize that I HAVE to be with her, ever since we broke up, I haven't really had any emotional connections to any of the girls I've dated.

I'm perverted at heart and very competitive.

We never even had our first kiss, but she was my first true love. I broke up with her 3 days after we started dating, but only because I was a stupid little kid back then.

What do you think, can I somehow get her back?

I mean, I have confidence that I can ask her out, I'm just not sure she'd want me back after what I've done.

Updates:
Also, I broke up with her then started dating her best friend, then after about 2 days with her best friend I broke up with her and started dating her friend.

What I did was childish and I know that now.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, you are certainly in a real mess here! You dated your friend, then her best friend, then another friend and now you wanna get back to your original girl?

    It's not impossible but, as Madiyeah says it's not going to be the same if you do get back with your first girl. Because you've hurt her before, memories of what you did to her can still linger.

    You say you were childish, yet the actions you are right taking now are also childish. Have you ever considered or realized how extremely selfish you are? I mean your friend is now considered your best friend's partner - and by wanting to be with your first girl friend you risk breaking up their friendship. Have you ever considered how your best friend feels (if that is how you see him) if he ever finds out? By going into this relationship with your 'first love' again, you risk not only breaking your friendship ultimately with all your friends mentioned here, but also others long term happiness (your best guy friend). This is because all actions have reactions ie. Cause and Effect.

    The problem you have is what I call 'Oneitis' - that is you have a sole focus on only one girl who you think is the world - when there are plenty more who can be like her, but you're not seeing it. Because of how you'd felt with her before (maybe because she was your first love) you cannot let go of the idea that you did screw up and you should move on.

    The other problem I see you have is that you are becoming overly possessive about this girl. It is to put it mildly, unhealthy to have this habit where you say to someone 'I gotta have you!'. It is extremely possessive behaviour, and for normal working relationships, it is not the way to go.

    I would suggest that you stick with your current relationship (if you have one) and leave everything as is, because it's most likely your girl even though she said she forgives you, still will feel hurt on some level even though she says its OK. This is because women never forget how they've been treated, especially if was bad in the past. What's been done has been done...you cannot rewind back time with mistakes. The best is to move on and forget about this girl. Because otherwise it will risk further jeopardising your relationships with your other friends. It is better to create two happy relationships in the world than it is to leave behind one being happy and one unhappy. At least in the process even though you didn't create a love relationship, you'll still remain friends which is an important thing.

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    • No no no, I think I might have mis-worded what I wrote.

      My last ex recently broke up with me and is dating my friend, but my original ex isn't dating anyone.

      I won't be risking any relationships because she isn't with anyone..

      Also, it can't be too bad because I can make her smile just by being with her.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for all the good advice.

      I'll try my hardest getting her back.

      :D

    • Good luck! :D

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What Girls Said 1

  • you have to befriend her again. Show her you need her somehow for a start, then become friends again, then see if you want to make your move or not. Things won't be perfect though.

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    • Well, me and her are friends.. But just not that close anymore.

      Also, I will start with a better friendship and show her that I've changed.

      What I did to her was pretty messed up and she says she forgives me since it's in the past, but back then I honestly doubt I would have understood.

      I made her cry and I really don't like that.

      I'll take your advice though, I'll post back to say if it works or not.

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